guys i shifted the blog to wordpress for office online support..
come there form continuation... : http://callmeninja.wordpress.com/
Thanks a lot..
Love
The Ninja....
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The missing piece (Part I)
Well, I have been mulling over this for quite some time.. wanting to write about this and get it off. I mentioned about an incident which eliminated my memories and took everything away?? Well the time has come.. There is a quote i saw recently which goes “You are over it, when you can joke about it”. So well i need to be over it and hence I tell you not a story.. but The Story...
Way back in 2007, when i was recovering from the accident which took away my sub-dream, I got so bored with sitting at home and doing nothing that, I decided to go and work at a call center. So i attended the interview. I cleared the language interview without much hassles and then it was time for the technical interview. So while myself and my new found friends there at the company were waiting for the interview (did i forget to mention, that by this time, i was already helping others with the computer doubts?) the door opened and SHE walked in. I can still remember that day so vividly. Her salwar was loose, with the dupatta hung in brilliant symmetry in front of her, and the way the ends of it flowed when she walked. I was wonderstruck by the grace, such was it that I felt as if she was floating (yes, i was so frozen in time that i could not even reason to myself that antigravity drives were not invented at that point). I silently whispered a prayer asking god to put her in my batch. God listened and even went the extra mile for me. She too had to attend the tech interview with us or rather with me. The moment she sat near me, i recognized the confused look in her face. I quietly thanked Charles Babbage for making computers and of course, for making it hard for normal people to understand. She had doubts and tonz of them too. I patiently waited for her to ask someone and for that someone to direct her to me. The probability of that happening was so tilted to me that it happened within the next 10 minutes. Again that confused, piteous look on her face when she approached me told me that I am desperately in love with her. Her smile was so captivating that I literally stammered when she asked the most stupid doubt ever. I prayed to get through the interview, not for me but for her. Again god listened and once again he went the extra mile and she was put in my batch.
Evening came, she was supposed to be provided accommodation by the company. I hung around so that i could help her again. God once again played his part, she was to stay at an apartment near to my home, so I offered to help her get there along with a couple of other girls and my friend. On the way there, i got her the first thing, I brought her a Shawarma from my favourite Place. I could swear i felt us connecting. There was a steady wavelength match between us. We were ‘clicking’ at lot of points. At around 6 in the evening we dropped her at her place and left. The first thing i remember doing after reaching home, is pestering my best friend Savi to come online and i sent her this chat:-
NJ: Da, I think i am in Love...
Savi: What??? When?
NJ: today. There is this girl in the company i saw. I don’t know what happened but i know i am desperately in love with her.
Savi: are you mad? just like that?
NJ: Yes.. i know love at first sight is crap but... I am serious...
.... and it went on with me boring the hell out of her with the minutest of details of the dimples on her one cheek, the way she casually dragged her feet when she walked, the way her eyes glistened when she smiled etc.. Being a true friend I think she signed off in between coz she got too bored... hmmm....
Well Next day, i was one of the first to reach the office. She came too. The office people wanted a couple of passport photos for the bank accounts and stuff. I did not have any. So i was about to go out to get them when she offered to come with me. So we went on our first unofficial Date, to Arun’s Studio to take a passport size photo of me. We Walked... slowly... I walked one step behind her so that i could take in every single step she took, i loved the way she loitered around something when it caught her eye, i loved it when she kept blabbering about totally unrelated things, I loved it when she noticed that i was trailing behind and she would turn around, tossing her hair back, gesturing with her lips asking what happened.. I loved... everything. It was dreamy, hazy and slow... The world had ceased to exist for me, there were no more people, no vehicles, nothing which remained. I knew i would never get bored or tired of watching her... But as they say dreams are not meant to last...
Later that day, she told me she has to make a call. I offered her my phone (Yes, its true, she did not have a cell phone). Once over, i casually asked her if it was her dad, she told me NO. Brother? NO, Mother? NO.. Friend? Err... Yes. Oh ok... wait a second.. i recognized that look and tone.. It couldn’t be true.. She used the exact characteristic of a girl who has a boyfriend but does not want to reveal it or is ashamed/shy to say it. Before i could murmur my silent prayer she broke the silence “I cant lie to you.. its by boyfriend...”.. I was injured, my mind bled. Had she any idea of human anatomy and psychology, she would have recognized it spot on. The pupil dilation, the increased breathing, the “wipe imaginary sweat off face” gesture... My dreams had crashed even before it could take off. All i could do was smile... I tugged and struggled to end the day. That night, once again i pestered savi Online. There was nothing she could say, infact nothing anyone could say. It was the same old “don’t worry, it will be alright”...
That night i wanted to cry out loud but my eyes refused to shed tears. My mind and my logic system screamed “she was not meant to be yours.. you don’t deserve her at all...”
IF ONLY I HAD LISTENED......
(To be continued).
-Ninja-
Way back in 2007, when i was recovering from the accident which took away my sub-dream, I got so bored with sitting at home and doing nothing that, I decided to go and work at a call center. So i attended the interview. I cleared the language interview without much hassles and then it was time for the technical interview. So while myself and my new found friends there at the company were waiting for the interview (did i forget to mention, that by this time, i was already helping others with the computer doubts?) the door opened and SHE walked in. I can still remember that day so vividly. Her salwar was loose, with the dupatta hung in brilliant symmetry in front of her, and the way the ends of it flowed when she walked. I was wonderstruck by the grace, such was it that I felt as if she was floating (yes, i was so frozen in time that i could not even reason to myself that antigravity drives were not invented at that point). I silently whispered a prayer asking god to put her in my batch. God listened and even went the extra mile for me. She too had to attend the tech interview with us or rather with me. The moment she sat near me, i recognized the confused look in her face. I quietly thanked Charles Babbage for making computers and of course, for making it hard for normal people to understand. She had doubts and tonz of them too. I patiently waited for her to ask someone and for that someone to direct her to me. The probability of that happening was so tilted to me that it happened within the next 10 minutes. Again that confused, piteous look on her face when she approached me told me that I am desperately in love with her. Her smile was so captivating that I literally stammered when she asked the most stupid doubt ever. I prayed to get through the interview, not for me but for her. Again god listened and once again he went the extra mile and she was put in my batch.
Evening came, she was supposed to be provided accommodation by the company. I hung around so that i could help her again. God once again played his part, she was to stay at an apartment near to my home, so I offered to help her get there along with a couple of other girls and my friend. On the way there, i got her the first thing, I brought her a Shawarma from my favourite Place. I could swear i felt us connecting. There was a steady wavelength match between us. We were ‘clicking’ at lot of points. At around 6 in the evening we dropped her at her place and left. The first thing i remember doing after reaching home, is pestering my best friend Savi to come online and i sent her this chat:-
NJ: Da, I think i am in Love...
Savi: What??? When?
NJ: today. There is this girl in the company i saw. I don’t know what happened but i know i am desperately in love with her.
Savi: are you mad? just like that?
NJ: Yes.. i know love at first sight is crap but... I am serious...
.... and it went on with me boring the hell out of her with the minutest of details of the dimples on her one cheek, the way she casually dragged her feet when she walked, the way her eyes glistened when she smiled etc.. Being a true friend I think she signed off in between coz she got too bored... hmmm....
Well Next day, i was one of the first to reach the office. She came too. The office people wanted a couple of passport photos for the bank accounts and stuff. I did not have any. So i was about to go out to get them when she offered to come with me. So we went on our first unofficial Date, to Arun’s Studio to take a passport size photo of me. We Walked... slowly... I walked one step behind her so that i could take in every single step she took, i loved the way she loitered around something when it caught her eye, i loved it when she kept blabbering about totally unrelated things, I loved it when she noticed that i was trailing behind and she would turn around, tossing her hair back, gesturing with her lips asking what happened.. I loved... everything. It was dreamy, hazy and slow... The world had ceased to exist for me, there were no more people, no vehicles, nothing which remained. I knew i would never get bored or tired of watching her... But as they say dreams are not meant to last...
Later that day, she told me she has to make a call. I offered her my phone (Yes, its true, she did not have a cell phone). Once over, i casually asked her if it was her dad, she told me NO. Brother? NO, Mother? NO.. Friend? Err... Yes. Oh ok... wait a second.. i recognized that look and tone.. It couldn’t be true.. She used the exact characteristic of a girl who has a boyfriend but does not want to reveal it or is ashamed/shy to say it. Before i could murmur my silent prayer she broke the silence “I cant lie to you.. its by boyfriend...”.. I was injured, my mind bled. Had she any idea of human anatomy and psychology, she would have recognized it spot on. The pupil dilation, the increased breathing, the “wipe imaginary sweat off face” gesture... My dreams had crashed even before it could take off. All i could do was smile... I tugged and struggled to end the day. That night, once again i pestered savi Online. There was nothing she could say, infact nothing anyone could say. It was the same old “don’t worry, it will be alright”...
That night i wanted to cry out loud but my eyes refused to shed tears. My mind and my logic system screamed “she was not meant to be yours.. you don’t deserve her at all...”
IF ONLY I HAD LISTENED......
(To be continued).
-Ninja-
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
the SUM of all Fears...
well.. after a long break i decide to write again on this blog. a recent incident has left me devoid of the so called memorable incidents which happened in my life but how on earth can i remember about it unless i atleast try to think about it.
so this time i will write about something which a lot of people have asked me. Something which lot of people have doubts about. about something which some people are actually concerned about. The answer to one of the biggest questions on earth. WHY AM I LIKE THIS!!!!! Hey, it is a big question coz many who know me have asked me this, many who read my blog have asked me this, let alone strangers have asked strangers this question. I never had an answer to it untill some days back.
But even before i start off with telling the reason or going into an in-depth psychological analysis of my head, i need to be very clear on one fact that whatever i had written on my blog is true. YES folks, that is how i think, i can't help but think of 100 different ways, a sentance can be valued, a hundred different statistics which might have a remote connection with the scenarion i am in or calculating approximated standing probability for the outcome of my actions and ya of course using un-intelligable technical jargon in everything i do and say. I almost never forget any wierdo jargon or scientific term once i come across it but i would be most certain to forget the name of the person to whom i would have been talking for the past one hour, the route which i am required to take in order to return to a previously visited destination by myself. I dont even think there is anything wrong with me coz i expected others to be exactly like but except for the simple fact that they are NOT.
I almost always have this wierd fight going on in my head, especially when i talk to people especially cute girls, which would have my crazy half speaking out loud and my normal half screaming in my head. it would go something like this.
Crazy half: blah blah blah blah.. and hence blah blah blah. (rolling drums and punchline...)
Normal half: wooooo.. great job mate. that was just AWSOME..
Crazy half: But still you know that blah blah blah... blah blah... and so blah blah (and half awkward drum roll and another 'punchline')...
Normal half: What was that for?? you had nailed the conversation.. why did you even start talking again?? You really need to..
Crazy half: Even though, you see what i said may not be fully right as blah blah blah blah...
Normal half: WTF?? why the hell are you saying the other side of the story?? SHUT UP dude...
Crazy half: Blah blah blah. So you see, i am not right, probably you are!!! hence blah blah blah..... (drummer walks off... Still manages a reversed punchline (probably should say kickline (coz kick might be the opposite of punch (oh shit, too many brackets)))))
Normal half: Dude, do you realize that you are now argueing with yourself???
Crazy half: (oh shit... i am standing on the wrong side).. hey though i said that blah blah blah blah blah.. see so whatever i said is right.. blah blah..
Normal half: Its amazing how many different ways you can tell the same thing again. I though there were just past, present and future tenses.. but you created more dimentions to it?? einstein and stephan hawkings would be proud of you.... sheeesh..
Crazy half: so you see, even we are standing on the same page, i belive what i said it right... (No drumroll still a manageable punchline)
Normal half: bravo, saved you skin, now SHUT up and walk away leaving her to linger in her guilty consciousness... Buhaaa haa haaa.. (my trademark evil laughter).
Crazy half: BUT.. i can understand why you feel so.... blah blah..
Normal half: OMG, you've gotta be kiddin me..
And this vicious cycle goes on and on till myself and the person talking to me gets confused on who was on which side of the arguement or ofcourse with the other person walking out leaving me argueing with myself. what i fail to understand is that I can very clearly hear my normal half telling me to SHUT UP but its like my mouth has a mind of its own (WOW that statement just looked dangerous :-)) its the same when i give a speach with the only difference being that i throw all my punch lines in, and then keep going again only to find that (yes you guessed it) i dont have an end to the speech.
Now all this things made me really confused about what is wrong with me. I even doubted if i had DID (disassociative identity disorder), commonly known as multiple personality. But DID will not scream in you head!! so it was not that. I thought maybe it was due to the way i was brought up (blaming things as handling defect (or simply called "blaming the parents") is the most simple and classy excapes ever) which caused this problem. Since the scream was inside me, they dint even have to know about it.. 'Wink'..
But then, recently i came across an incident (which i might soon write about once i am over it) due to which i had to go see a doc (NOT a psycho one (NOT a type)). It was to check out a concussion. It is there he smelt something fishy (this usage particularly bothers me) with me and asked me to take a couple of evaluations. Once done, it seems i had a condition which all of a sudden, gave me a new dimension to look for answers. I had a severe case of ADHD or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as ADD or attention defecit disorder). It is a neurological disorder with me and which is mostly genetic in nature (hey now rather than handling default, i could blame it on manufacturing defect :-D which would void me of any responsibility of whatever i am). ADHD makes you talk compulsively and do things impulsively (hey that rhymed). that would explain my blabbering. Moreover, it would not allow me to give attention to things which i do not find interesting (that explaing why i dont remember names (YEAH dude, i am not interested in humans), and places). moreover it also makes my attention span hyper-short (which again explains why i used to have hundered things in front of me when ma karate master made me meditate!!!) Furthermore there were many other symptoms too which was listed and which i most defenitely had.
So that explained a lot about what was happening to me and especially the WHY factor in it. But hey, futher research showed, this four lettered acronym also gave me some serious advantages too. It confirmed the fact that i could hyper-focus on something which i found interesting for short time periods, I could learn with very fast and automatically provided it was something i found interesting (that explains the science and computers), I could look at any object or think about anything in many more and different way than most humans can, I can percieve and visualize the speed of time in my mind and most importantly It gives me a very high level of wisecrack humor (coz of the way i think). various other advantage and disadvantage were given too which are true too.
My whole life, i had felt and wanted to be different from other humans, but could never actually realize that i was different the whole time. I dont see this 'thing' as a disorder, but i see it as a gift. A gift which makes me this nutcase, which makes me this funny guy, which makes me this idiot who believes he can do whatever he dreams about. who believes he is different from all the other PESKY HUMANS out there...
Though i may not be the only one with this disorder. statistically two out of ten people would have some symptom of ADHD which is pretty much a good number when you consider the mass but...
Awww shit.. i should have just stopped when i said the punch line before... The bloody ADDer in me!!! guess i will never learn.. ;-)
Love
The ADDer Ninja
PS: will post more once ma memory returns.... :-D
so this time i will write about something which a lot of people have asked me. Something which lot of people have doubts about. about something which some people are actually concerned about. The answer to one of the biggest questions on earth. WHY AM I LIKE THIS!!!!! Hey, it is a big question coz many who know me have asked me this, many who read my blog have asked me this, let alone strangers have asked strangers this question. I never had an answer to it untill some days back.
But even before i start off with telling the reason or going into an in-depth psychological analysis of my head, i need to be very clear on one fact that whatever i had written on my blog is true. YES folks, that is how i think, i can't help but think of 100 different ways, a sentance can be valued, a hundred different statistics which might have a remote connection with the scenarion i am in or calculating approximated standing probability for the outcome of my actions and ya of course using un-intelligable technical jargon in everything i do and say. I almost never forget any wierdo jargon or scientific term once i come across it but i would be most certain to forget the name of the person to whom i would have been talking for the past one hour, the route which i am required to take in order to return to a previously visited destination by myself. I dont even think there is anything wrong with me coz i expected others to be exactly like but except for the simple fact that they are NOT.
I almost always have this wierd fight going on in my head, especially when i talk to people especially cute girls, which would have my crazy half speaking out loud and my normal half screaming in my head. it would go something like this.
Crazy half: blah blah blah blah.. and hence blah blah blah. (rolling drums and punchline...)
Normal half: wooooo.. great job mate. that was just AWSOME..
Crazy half: But still you know that blah blah blah... blah blah... and so blah blah (and half awkward drum roll and another 'punchline')...
Normal half: What was that for?? you had nailed the conversation.. why did you even start talking again?? You really need to..
Crazy half: Even though, you see what i said may not be fully right as blah blah blah blah...
Normal half: WTF?? why the hell are you saying the other side of the story?? SHUT UP dude...
Crazy half: Blah blah blah. So you see, i am not right, probably you are!!! hence blah blah blah..... (drummer walks off... Still manages a reversed punchline (probably should say kickline (coz kick might be the opposite of punch (oh shit, too many brackets)))))
Normal half: Dude, do you realize that you are now argueing with yourself???
Crazy half: (oh shit... i am standing on the wrong side).. hey though i said that blah blah blah blah blah.. see so whatever i said is right.. blah blah..
Normal half: Its amazing how many different ways you can tell the same thing again. I though there were just past, present and future tenses.. but you created more dimentions to it?? einstein and stephan hawkings would be proud of you.... sheeesh..
Crazy half: so you see, even we are standing on the same page, i belive what i said it right... (No drumroll still a manageable punchline)
Normal half: bravo, saved you skin, now SHUT up and walk away leaving her to linger in her guilty consciousness... Buhaaa haa haaa.. (my trademark evil laughter).
Crazy half: BUT.. i can understand why you feel so.... blah blah..
Normal half: OMG, you've gotta be kiddin me..
And this vicious cycle goes on and on till myself and the person talking to me gets confused on who was on which side of the arguement or ofcourse with the other person walking out leaving me argueing with myself. what i fail to understand is that I can very clearly hear my normal half telling me to SHUT UP but its like my mouth has a mind of its own (WOW that statement just looked dangerous :-)) its the same when i give a speach with the only difference being that i throw all my punch lines in, and then keep going again only to find that (yes you guessed it) i dont have an end to the speech.
Now all this things made me really confused about what is wrong with me. I even doubted if i had DID (disassociative identity disorder), commonly known as multiple personality. But DID will not scream in you head!! so it was not that. I thought maybe it was due to the way i was brought up (blaming things as handling defect (or simply called "blaming the parents") is the most simple and classy excapes ever) which caused this problem. Since the scream was inside me, they dint even have to know about it.. 'Wink'..
But then, recently i came across an incident (which i might soon write about once i am over it) due to which i had to go see a doc (NOT a psycho one (NOT a type)). It was to check out a concussion. It is there he smelt something fishy (this usage particularly bothers me) with me and asked me to take a couple of evaluations. Once done, it seems i had a condition which all of a sudden, gave me a new dimension to look for answers. I had a severe case of ADHD or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as ADD or attention defecit disorder). It is a neurological disorder with me and which is mostly genetic in nature (hey now rather than handling default, i could blame it on manufacturing defect :-D which would void me of any responsibility of whatever i am). ADHD makes you talk compulsively and do things impulsively (hey that rhymed). that would explain my blabbering. Moreover, it would not allow me to give attention to things which i do not find interesting (that explaing why i dont remember names (YEAH dude, i am not interested in humans), and places). moreover it also makes my attention span hyper-short (which again explains why i used to have hundered things in front of me when ma karate master made me meditate!!!) Furthermore there were many other symptoms too which was listed and which i most defenitely had.
So that explained a lot about what was happening to me and especially the WHY factor in it. But hey, futher research showed, this four lettered acronym also gave me some serious advantages too. It confirmed the fact that i could hyper-focus on something which i found interesting for short time periods, I could learn with very fast and automatically provided it was something i found interesting (that explains the science and computers), I could look at any object or think about anything in many more and different way than most humans can, I can percieve and visualize the speed of time in my mind and most importantly It gives me a very high level of wisecrack humor (coz of the way i think). various other advantage and disadvantage were given too which are true too.
My whole life, i had felt and wanted to be different from other humans, but could never actually realize that i was different the whole time. I dont see this 'thing' as a disorder, but i see it as a gift. A gift which makes me this nutcase, which makes me this funny guy, which makes me this idiot who believes he can do whatever he dreams about. who believes he is different from all the other PESKY HUMANS out there...
Though i may not be the only one with this disorder. statistically two out of ten people would have some symptom of ADHD which is pretty much a good number when you consider the mass but...
Awww shit.. i should have just stopped when i said the punch line before... The bloody ADDer in me!!! guess i will never learn.. ;-)
Love
The ADDer Ninja
PS: will post more once ma memory returns.... :-D
Monday, October 20, 2008
A Dream Realized.....
well well well... i know its been a long time since i scribbled something... and as the name of the blog suggests, i was out realizing my dream... the dream which has given me more than enough memories to last a life time… as the name would suggest I am quite known for creating an unwanted sense of suspense ( purely according to me).. since I do not intend to do that here… I will come to the point.. well the dream was my company… started off with this dream while I was in ma second grade.. (I can sense the huh?? In you all)
well, it was when I saw terminator 2 way back in ’92 that I stumbled upon my destiny.. even though initially it was to BECOME a terminator, I soon realized the bodily integrative issues I would have to face.. so hence I modified my destiny to make a Terminator.. well technically speaking I was not so sure of making a terminator as I would be required to have the genetic sequence of Arnold Schwarzenegger (which I concluded he would not cooperate with), I decided to make a similar android. So started with my research. The first thing I realized about android is that they needed something called artificial intelligence. Now, I knew intelligence but what on earth was artificial intelligence. It was a really strange concept as never before had I encountered two words whose meanings I very well understood but didn’t understand when put together. Well as childish as it may sound I once again re-modified my destiny to accommodate this newly acquired work. This formed my dream of an company which would deal in Artificial Intelligence…
Time went by and unlike usual stories, I did note forget it and I did not improve… I was still that stupid, over analytic guy who was trying to figure out what is artificial intelligence. It was also destined that terminator be my favorite movie (well until independence day came around… and then SHREK and then…. Not relevant)… anyways I knew I had to learn about it.. finally the time for me to realize what this word was took me a long four years. It was when I was in my sixth class that I realized that it had to do with intelligent decisions made by artificial computer programs. So started my quest to learn about it.. On the way I came across LISP, prolog, California brain makers and the likes.. but it was never enough.. I had to move forward.. strangely enough there was something which was common for every link I took.. it ended with “its an emerging field and a lot more is still to be developed”… what if I was the one to do it?? Call it overconfidence or childishness… I had a uncanny reason to trust my instincts.
Fast forward some ten years.. the day of my engineering exams… in my mind was the single biggest milestone to achieve my dream.. A Ms in Artificial Intelligence (in fact there were some others too including marrying Amrita Rao, acquiring Microsoft and the likes) then it happened… an accident which destroyed my life… something which left me permanently disabled… I was immobilized…….. well.. ok. I am over reacting it… it was just a couple of stitches and well… errr.. yup that was it!!! Anyway it sure did take our my MS in AI !!!.. so it came for me to once again re-modify my destiny.. Trust me hadn’t my destiny been made with an EEPROM or a tellurium based silver alloy I would have been in serious jeopardy. It really made me create those subtle adjustments to finally suit the perfectionist in me.
There are somethings which I am really bad at (ya, I am serious, even though it took me a lot of guts to admit that). These includes electronics, finance, mathematics (only if contains those weird symbols that one only finds in the Windings font) and sales. So my experience had taught me that I was not capable of kicking off my dream alone. I needed support. I needed a team. So my quest begin. There were a few people I had heard about who were pretty much very renowned for their field of interests. I got around calling them. Even though it was then that I found that I had the quality to become a tele-marketer. Well anyway fast-forwarding more, I found out that everyone in this group had the same dream (even though it did not include the AI section… ). So we decided to meet…
On the 26th of January 2008, we met for the first time face to face. It was really amazing and irritating as well.. not coz of anything, each of us being hyper proficient in what we do could not get others to understand what we were saying. The topics moved between impossible jargons of marketing, electronics, operations sales, AI and at times quantum physics and astrophysics (thanks to me!!!!). well the whole point being, we were extremely comfortable around each other.. There was a lot of chemistry (I have no idea why I am using this word as its is grammatical mistake since chemistry is defined as the study of chemical reaction and properties, and I am pretty sure that we did not discuss any chemicals). The amount of knowledge pouring out was immense. I knew what I had stumbled upon. I had just opened Pandora’s box (well except for that instead of evil, there was pure knowledge and passion.) everything I had lacked was falling was returning.. the pieces I missed to complete the puzzle was there in front of me. Electronics, marketing, operations it was all there.. (I know there was no finance but we didn’t know that it was a huge part…) Then it was time for the verdict… I am pretty sure that most of you would have guessed it.. its obvious that the answer was a “let’s do it”… had it been not I wouldn’t be probably scribbling about it!! On the 1st of February we took the office…
A journey had started.. We knew sacrifice, criticisms, temptations, egos, frustrations, probabilities, setbacks were all going to be a part of the package we had selected… but then again we knew well enough that to be persistent in it would lead us somewhere… on our way the team’s strength just grew and along with it grew the team’s spirit to glow brighter.. the final piece of the puzzle in the form of finance came up… the timing was impeccable.. I had found it.. in my team lay my dream.. And today I am tasting the sweetness which is awaiting us.. For all the hard work and sacrifices, everyone had done for us... we had and have done the unthinkable, conquered the impossible… we set records, we registered patents, we moved with blinding pace, each recognition overshadowed the ones before.
As I sit writing this, the images come flashing to my mind of the idiotic dream i had, the stupid challenge I took up, the work I did, the chance that I lost, the concept that was there, the small office we took… now I sit on a desk in my office, at the Prestigious Technopark a mere 16 years from a child’s dream, planning for a massive inauguration and product launch. A child’s dream has been realized…
I made my last modification to my destiny… I modified one word in it… “It’s no longer MY destiny… it’s OUR destiny!!!”
For Artin Dynamics and all the people who made it possible…. The world is waiting… lets go!!!
Ninja
well, it was when I saw terminator 2 way back in ’92 that I stumbled upon my destiny.. even though initially it was to BECOME a terminator, I soon realized the bodily integrative issues I would have to face.. so hence I modified my destiny to make a Terminator.. well technically speaking I was not so sure of making a terminator as I would be required to have the genetic sequence of Arnold Schwarzenegger (which I concluded he would not cooperate with), I decided to make a similar android. So started with my research. The first thing I realized about android is that they needed something called artificial intelligence. Now, I knew intelligence but what on earth was artificial intelligence. It was a really strange concept as never before had I encountered two words whose meanings I very well understood but didn’t understand when put together. Well as childish as it may sound I once again re-modified my destiny to accommodate this newly acquired work. This formed my dream of an company which would deal in Artificial Intelligence…
Time went by and unlike usual stories, I did note forget it and I did not improve… I was still that stupid, over analytic guy who was trying to figure out what is artificial intelligence. It was also destined that terminator be my favorite movie (well until independence day came around… and then SHREK and then…. Not relevant)… anyways I knew I had to learn about it.. finally the time for me to realize what this word was took me a long four years. It was when I was in my sixth class that I realized that it had to do with intelligent decisions made by artificial computer programs. So started my quest to learn about it.. On the way I came across LISP, prolog, California brain makers and the likes.. but it was never enough.. I had to move forward.. strangely enough there was something which was common for every link I took.. it ended with “its an emerging field and a lot more is still to be developed”… what if I was the one to do it?? Call it overconfidence or childishness… I had a uncanny reason to trust my instincts.
Fast forward some ten years.. the day of my engineering exams… in my mind was the single biggest milestone to achieve my dream.. A Ms in Artificial Intelligence (in fact there were some others too including marrying Amrita Rao, acquiring Microsoft and the likes) then it happened… an accident which destroyed my life… something which left me permanently disabled… I was immobilized…….. well.. ok. I am over reacting it… it was just a couple of stitches and well… errr.. yup that was it!!! Anyway it sure did take our my MS in AI !!!.. so it came for me to once again re-modify my destiny.. Trust me hadn’t my destiny been made with an EEPROM or a tellurium based silver alloy I would have been in serious jeopardy. It really made me create those subtle adjustments to finally suit the perfectionist in me.
There are somethings which I am really bad at (ya, I am serious, even though it took me a lot of guts to admit that). These includes electronics, finance, mathematics (only if contains those weird symbols that one only finds in the Windings font) and sales. So my experience had taught me that I was not capable of kicking off my dream alone. I needed support. I needed a team. So my quest begin. There were a few people I had heard about who were pretty much very renowned for their field of interests. I got around calling them. Even though it was then that I found that I had the quality to become a tele-marketer. Well anyway fast-forwarding more, I found out that everyone in this group had the same dream (even though it did not include the AI section… ). So we decided to meet…
On the 26th of January 2008, we met for the first time face to face. It was really amazing and irritating as well.. not coz of anything, each of us being hyper proficient in what we do could not get others to understand what we were saying. The topics moved between impossible jargons of marketing, electronics, operations sales, AI and at times quantum physics and astrophysics (thanks to me!!!!). well the whole point being, we were extremely comfortable around each other.. There was a lot of chemistry (I have no idea why I am using this word as its is grammatical mistake since chemistry is defined as the study of chemical reaction and properties, and I am pretty sure that we did not discuss any chemicals). The amount of knowledge pouring out was immense. I knew what I had stumbled upon. I had just opened Pandora’s box (well except for that instead of evil, there was pure knowledge and passion.) everything I had lacked was falling was returning.. the pieces I missed to complete the puzzle was there in front of me. Electronics, marketing, operations it was all there.. (I know there was no finance but we didn’t know that it was a huge part…) Then it was time for the verdict… I am pretty sure that most of you would have guessed it.. its obvious that the answer was a “let’s do it”… had it been not I wouldn’t be probably scribbling about it!! On the 1st of February we took the office…
A journey had started.. We knew sacrifice, criticisms, temptations, egos, frustrations, probabilities, setbacks were all going to be a part of the package we had selected… but then again we knew well enough that to be persistent in it would lead us somewhere… on our way the team’s strength just grew and along with it grew the team’s spirit to glow brighter.. the final piece of the puzzle in the form of finance came up… the timing was impeccable.. I had found it.. in my team lay my dream.. And today I am tasting the sweetness which is awaiting us.. For all the hard work and sacrifices, everyone had done for us... we had and have done the unthinkable, conquered the impossible… we set records, we registered patents, we moved with blinding pace, each recognition overshadowed the ones before.
As I sit writing this, the images come flashing to my mind of the idiotic dream i had, the stupid challenge I took up, the work I did, the chance that I lost, the concept that was there, the small office we took… now I sit on a desk in my office, at the Prestigious Technopark a mere 16 years from a child’s dream, planning for a massive inauguration and product launch. A child’s dream has been realized…
I made my last modification to my destiny… I modified one word in it… “It’s no longer MY destiny… it’s OUR destiny!!!”
For Artin Dynamics and all the people who made it possible…. The world is waiting… lets go!!!
Ninja
Saturday, February 23, 2008
branded 'twins'
LESSON 1: Avin Richards
born in close proximity of each other... one of the first same aged person i saw in my life... living in same apartment.. same floor... parents are close friends.. sisters are even closer friends... well that was the starting of the coincidences.. i dont remember when it was or how it was when i saw him for the first time...coz all my memory has one person next to me... HIM...
we were called or branded twins for the uncanny resemblance to each other.. both physically and mentally.. we used to go everywhere together.. nothing could come between us without getting trampled upon..
we have been through a lot together.. in times of being thrown out of class, getting suspended.. and due to this a lot of money was saved by our parents.. coz whenever there was trouble it was me and him.. there was no chance that anyone of us would be alone in it.. this included the fights, the arguments, the bunking, the 'flirting' etc etc.. we practically gave a new definition to predictive investigation.. (well more like if he is there in it then 99.99% probability that i am involved too)
my earliest memories start from the time when we went to learn swimming... clad in our underwears holding rubber tubes.. the amazingly dexterous dives and one of out parents desperately pulling us out of the water.. looking for water snakes and jumping in to catch them (unaware of the fact that water snakes have more chance to be venomous than land ones).. then one of the most vivid memory.. the day i first knew that i actually cared for someone in my life.. the day avin managed to get a huge cut when he went searching for the ball we lost.. blood was gushing like there was no end to it.. he was unconscious.. i cried for the first time for someone... i was afraid.. but he pulled out of it... thanks to maybe a lot of tears from a lot of people..
Avin was always a non violent person from heart.. but maybe it was my old self where i wanted to vent my energy on something and i thought that being a protector of justice was the best.. so i was always there all ready to beat the crap out of anyone whom i felt was violating my rules.. and just coz he did not want me to get beaten up he used to join me.. even though it brought him a name of being the DADA too.. well i should say one of the DADAs... we were incredibly strong for the kids of our age... so we had our advantages... still remember the day we chased and tore down 8 guys ( 1 year senior to us) for destroying our project.. and the day we send 4 packing to the hospital for beating up my friend... we were violent but still we did something right..
whatever it was that i did or though.. he would be there with me. he was like my mind.. i could tell him anything... with him i was free 'not' to think.. coz he would do it for me.. it was heaven...
then it all happened.. the first blow came when we had to shift.. then soon came the time when i had to go to another school.. soon he too left.. we grew apart.. and finally after a long break of like 8 years we met.. but it was just a meeting.. we barely recognised each other.. the a few months back we met again.. then again.. one fine day i got to spend the entire day with him.. and i knew that we were still the same.. i had re-discovered my twin.. the branding 'twins' was for life.. he was still the same.. i had changed.. so had he... and guess what, in the exact same way.. we both came to detest fighting unless it had something to do with our friends getting hurt.. we both grew us as renowned techies.. we both grew up to hate maths.. we both loved bikes and gadgets and computers.. and we both even took the same stream.. the exact same stream.. we were still twins.. and today i proudly re-invent that term for us..
he is not my brother, not my friend, not anything.. he is a part of me.. a clone maybe.. he is me..
and most importantly he has a huge part in making me what i am today.. i have a lot of friends.. the reason why i am able to get them is his lesson.. he taught me to stand with your friends no matter what.. let the world think what they want.. let them do anything they want to you.. all that a true friends needs to do is to stand with his friend.. even if it means you dont like what they do.. (i mean in a good way)... i can proudly say it coz no one would term me an avin as a dada now.. we did protect the justice.. only thing he was not into it.. but he stood by me.. taking blows for me.. never complaining one bit...
the time i spend with him are the ones that i want the relive the most.. as i said it was and it would be the time when i am me...
born in close proximity of each other... one of the first same aged person i saw in my life... living in same apartment.. same floor... parents are close friends.. sisters are even closer friends... well that was the starting of the coincidences.. i dont remember when it was or how it was when i saw him for the first time...coz all my memory has one person next to me... HIM...
we were called or branded twins for the uncanny resemblance to each other.. both physically and mentally.. we used to go everywhere together.. nothing could come between us without getting trampled upon..
we have been through a lot together.. in times of being thrown out of class, getting suspended.. and due to this a lot of money was saved by our parents.. coz whenever there was trouble it was me and him.. there was no chance that anyone of us would be alone in it.. this included the fights, the arguments, the bunking, the 'flirting' etc etc.. we practically gave a new definition to predictive investigation.. (well more like if he is there in it then 99.99% probability that i am involved too)
my earliest memories start from the time when we went to learn swimming... clad in our underwears holding rubber tubes.. the amazingly dexterous dives and one of out parents desperately pulling us out of the water.. looking for water snakes and jumping in to catch them (unaware of the fact that water snakes have more chance to be venomous than land ones).. then one of the most vivid memory.. the day i first knew that i actually cared for someone in my life.. the day avin managed to get a huge cut when he went searching for the ball we lost.. blood was gushing like there was no end to it.. he was unconscious.. i cried for the first time for someone... i was afraid.. but he pulled out of it... thanks to maybe a lot of tears from a lot of people..
Avin was always a non violent person from heart.. but maybe it was my old self where i wanted to vent my energy on something and i thought that being a protector of justice was the best.. so i was always there all ready to beat the crap out of anyone whom i felt was violating my rules.. and just coz he did not want me to get beaten up he used to join me.. even though it brought him a name of being the DADA too.. well i should say one of the DADAs... we were incredibly strong for the kids of our age... so we had our advantages... still remember the day we chased and tore down 8 guys ( 1 year senior to us) for destroying our project.. and the day we send 4 packing to the hospital for beating up my friend... we were violent but still we did something right..
whatever it was that i did or though.. he would be there with me. he was like my mind.. i could tell him anything... with him i was free 'not' to think.. coz he would do it for me.. it was heaven...
then it all happened.. the first blow came when we had to shift.. then soon came the time when i had to go to another school.. soon he too left.. we grew apart.. and finally after a long break of like 8 years we met.. but it was just a meeting.. we barely recognised each other.. the a few months back we met again.. then again.. one fine day i got to spend the entire day with him.. and i knew that we were still the same.. i had re-discovered my twin.. the branding 'twins' was for life.. he was still the same.. i had changed.. so had he... and guess what, in the exact same way.. we both came to detest fighting unless it had something to do with our friends getting hurt.. we both grew us as renowned techies.. we both grew up to hate maths.. we both loved bikes and gadgets and computers.. and we both even took the same stream.. the exact same stream.. we were still twins.. and today i proudly re-invent that term for us..
he is not my brother, not my friend, not anything.. he is a part of me.. a clone maybe.. he is me..
and most importantly he has a huge part in making me what i am today.. i have a lot of friends.. the reason why i am able to get them is his lesson.. he taught me to stand with your friends no matter what.. let the world think what they want.. let them do anything they want to you.. all that a true friends needs to do is to stand with his friend.. even if it means you dont like what they do.. (i mean in a good way)... i can proudly say it coz no one would term me an avin as a dada now.. we did protect the justice.. only thing he was not into it.. but he stood by me.. taking blows for me.. never complaining one bit...
the time i spend with him are the ones that i want the relive the most.. as i said it was and it would be the time when i am me...
a new chapter....
when you are with friends you see life.. you see everything clearly... time never stops... it just goes on and on... there are times in your life when you look back and think.. if i could have one more day of that... what is it that i do today.. i work.. i work... and i still work... you forget the smaller things in life.. you forget the ones that has changed our life...
when coming to think about all that it occured to me that maybe there is something in life that requires a mention and a rewind.. a look back into life.. into my life and into my those people's life.. the times we shared, the secrets we kept, the troubles we put each other through, the crushes we might have had, and of course the fights... each which stays in our head like a dream we saw a day before... so vivid, so clear, so touching.. but just like the dream we dont get time to think about it.. after all what does past have to do with me today.. i have new friends.. better friends.. right?? i guess not.... i dont think so.. i can sure as hell make myself believe that.. but that would be lying to me..
so i want to thank all my friends out there who has made the differece to me... starting from my smallest class.. i wanna write about those who had been there for me.. whenever things mattered the most to me.. consider this a trubute and a testimonial to you... and a urge to all out there to think about the smaller things in life...
and ya in case anyone thinks that the ninja has become all serious and philophical please do try to prove the classical theory of gravitation exists in a singularity.. if you do that. maybe i may become serious.. ha ha ha... ok??
when coming to think about all that it occured to me that maybe there is something in life that requires a mention and a rewind.. a look back into life.. into my life and into my those people's life.. the times we shared, the secrets we kept, the troubles we put each other through, the crushes we might have had, and of course the fights... each which stays in our head like a dream we saw a day before... so vivid, so clear, so touching.. but just like the dream we dont get time to think about it.. after all what does past have to do with me today.. i have new friends.. better friends.. right?? i guess not.... i dont think so.. i can sure as hell make myself believe that.. but that would be lying to me..
so i want to thank all my friends out there who has made the differece to me... starting from my smallest class.. i wanna write about those who had been there for me.. whenever things mattered the most to me.. consider this a trubute and a testimonial to you... and a urge to all out there to think about the smaller things in life...
and ya in case anyone thinks that the ninja has become all serious and philophical please do try to prove the classical theory of gravitation exists in a singularity.. if you do that. maybe i may become serious.. ha ha ha... ok??
Afterlife....
looong time... to busy to write... but finally life catches up with you... so here i am back in front of the computer to write the next episode of my life... and as always there is someone who is there to provide me the initial push and the memory.. well this time it was a call from a private number.. which by the way i thought was the CEO of GOOGLE calling me for some kind of business proposal.. but unfortunately and thankfully it was my old classmate Roshan.. no no no.. dont worry he is not the new CEO of GOOGLE.. he was calling me from Rome.. so the private number... thinking about him.. there are a lot of episodes we shared in our life.. there are a few which stands out exceptionally well... REALLY WELL.. heh heh heh....
it was when we were in out 12th grade.. we had a choice of 3 timings to go home after school.. at 3pm 4pm and 5pm.. being 'US' we would always opt for the 5pm bus.. even though this bus was meant for the company employees to go home, we never faced any issues.. mainly coz i think the employees could use some laughter and fun after their hard day at work.. and we were the ones to give them that...
so that fateful day (fateful coz i was destined to carry this memory for the rest of my life and this took away a few Kb of the memory i could have used to learn a new theory) we (me, aswin, aaron, roshan, graison, renu, divya etc etc) were sitting in the bus.. the bus was parked in front of the company medical center.. and it was slowly starting to get crowded with the company employees.. roshan was in the seat behind me narrating a film story.. well i should say that he is a darn good story teller.. with only a small flaw.. which being that even though the title of the stories are same the contents are never same... memory issues?? heh heh heh... he was telling the story of the film 'THE OMEN'.. unfortunately the content was not that of the film.. so since it was a new 'film' we all were fully into it.. even the employees... so he was telling..
ROSHAN: so one day morning they all got up... they went into the room to look for her.. but suddenly...... they found out that she was missine...
OTHERS: oooooohhh....... uh-huh...
ROSHAN: so they knew something was wrong.. so they all went looking for her to the nearby sanitary..... and...
OTHERS: huh???? (confusion sets in...)..
ME: errrr.. rosha.. what did you say right now???
ROSHAN: what?? they went to the sanitary...
OTHERS: (chattering with each other.. more confusion)... errr....
ME: what do you mean they went to the sanitary???
ROSHAN: why are you disturbing.. let me complete the story.. cant you understand anything...
now that is a offending remark (asking if i can understand anything... ) hey wanna have a bout on quantum physics?? on string theory??? huh??
ME: hey i am serious.. i.. err... we . did not understand what you just said...
ROSHAN: what is wrong with you all??? and you especially??? are you not a christian?? and still you dont know???
ok.. this was serious!!! now i should have studied the bible too.. where was sanitary mentioned there??? what has bathroom equipments to do with the bible and god??? hmmm.. this could be interesting...
ME: da i am sorry.. but you know na that i dont go to the church.. i am really sorry.. i will start going. but can you clarify this just this once?? please??
looks of genuine despair on everyone's face must have melted his heart.... so he decided to explain it us low-lives...
ROSHAN: da... i'll say.. but shame on you.. you being a christian.. anyway... let me ask you..
holding our breath....
ROSHAN:where do you bury your people when they die?? huh??
OH.... MY.... GOD.... suffocation kicked in... everyone one was so shocked that no one could even laugh or breath... or blink.. or think..... and roshan still had no idea whatsoever why we all had that look on our face..
and when we started laughing even the driver came over to ask us what was going on.. coz he had never seen such a sponataneous and huge outburst anywhere.. he knew it had to be good... we were laughing for like the next 30 minutes... it was contagious...
and since friends are meant to be supportive we did remain quite and observed a silent prayer at all the hardware stores on the way home... every single day....
and ya.. thanks to him we dont have pretty much any doubt on how afterlife is gonna be like...
it was when we were in out 12th grade.. we had a choice of 3 timings to go home after school.. at 3pm 4pm and 5pm.. being 'US' we would always opt for the 5pm bus.. even though this bus was meant for the company employees to go home, we never faced any issues.. mainly coz i think the employees could use some laughter and fun after their hard day at work.. and we were the ones to give them that...
so that fateful day (fateful coz i was destined to carry this memory for the rest of my life and this took away a few Kb of the memory i could have used to learn a new theory) we (me, aswin, aaron, roshan, graison, renu, divya etc etc) were sitting in the bus.. the bus was parked in front of the company medical center.. and it was slowly starting to get crowded with the company employees.. roshan was in the seat behind me narrating a film story.. well i should say that he is a darn good story teller.. with only a small flaw.. which being that even though the title of the stories are same the contents are never same... memory issues?? heh heh heh... he was telling the story of the film 'THE OMEN'.. unfortunately the content was not that of the film.. so since it was a new 'film' we all were fully into it.. even the employees... so he was telling..
ROSHAN: so one day morning they all got up... they went into the room to look for her.. but suddenly...... they found out that she was missine...
OTHERS: oooooohhh....... uh-huh...
ROSHAN: so they knew something was wrong.. so they all went looking for her to the nearby sanitary..... and...
OTHERS: huh???? (confusion sets in...)..
ME: errrr.. rosha.. what did you say right now???
ROSHAN: what?? they went to the sanitary...
OTHERS: (chattering with each other.. more confusion)... errr....
ME: what do you mean they went to the sanitary???
ROSHAN: why are you disturbing.. let me complete the story.. cant you understand anything...
now that is a offending remark (asking if i can understand anything... ) hey wanna have a bout on quantum physics?? on string theory??? huh??
ME: hey i am serious.. i.. err... we . did not understand what you just said...
ROSHAN: what is wrong with you all??? and you especially??? are you not a christian?? and still you dont know???
ok.. this was serious!!! now i should have studied the bible too.. where was sanitary mentioned there??? what has bathroom equipments to do with the bible and god??? hmmm.. this could be interesting...
ME: da i am sorry.. but you know na that i dont go to the church.. i am really sorry.. i will start going. but can you clarify this just this once?? please??
looks of genuine despair on everyone's face must have melted his heart.... so he decided to explain it us low-lives...
ROSHAN: da... i'll say.. but shame on you.. you being a christian.. anyway... let me ask you..
holding our breath....
ROSHAN:where do you bury your people when they die?? huh??
OH.... MY.... GOD.... suffocation kicked in... everyone one was so shocked that no one could even laugh or breath... or blink.. or think..... and roshan still had no idea whatsoever why we all had that look on our face..
and when we started laughing even the driver came over to ask us what was going on.. coz he had never seen such a sponataneous and huge outburst anywhere.. he knew it had to be good... we were laughing for like the next 30 minutes... it was contagious...
and since friends are meant to be supportive we did remain quite and observed a silent prayer at all the hardware stores on the way home... every single day....
and ya.. thanks to him we dont have pretty much any doubt on how afterlife is gonna be like...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.JPG)