a couple of days earlier i was in bangalore where i met my twin brother and also got to spend a couple of days with him.. hey when i say twin brother the question to be asked is not is he your real twin brother... it must be why is he not your real twin brother..(for the which the possible answer would lie in the chapter 'life process 2' in 9th grade biology text books).. but that is irrelevant.. the reason why we are called twins is due to the un-coincidental behavioural and physical similarity we share among ourselves.. meeting him that day triggered a lot of memory from my past.. especially some which are too good to be true.. and ya as usual in my case.. DUMB..
we were in our UKG.. we were so notorious among everyone.. teachers, parents, students.. but we were not that interested into gals.. well at least i was not.. i was more interested into opening toys, TVs, Radios etc etc... and as it would suggest Avin too.. same... but he had some other plans too...
so it was one fine afternoon... the sky was blue (refraction of light due to atmosphere).. the trees green (with brownish bark of course).. everything was going on perfectly.. the teacher was teaching something in the class.. i had no idea at all.. i was studying the various sounds coming from my stomach after that hug lunch i had.. avin was there doing another research (unfortunately we do not share our researches with each other)...
all off a sudden a gal bursts into the class.. utterly over exited about something.. from her facial expressions and body language i was sure that a UFO had landed in the school ground and an alien had communicated with her.. (man.. this is the day i had been waiting for.. finally i can go to my home planet..) she ran to the teacher and whispered something into her ears. she looked kinda shocked too.. (that confirmed my theory).. she told us to stay in the class and went out with her.. (hmmm free time.. i started preparing myself for the encounter with the third kind.... ) but.. a few minutes into my preparations... instead of aliens i saw my principal running to behind my teacher.. (i didn't know that my principal was an alien)... but son there was commotion all over.. my seniors, teachers etc etc were rushing around.. so the curiosity in a child's mind conquered all of us.. we too followed them all.. but frankly i was not interested.. after all i had to prepare my self before i meet with the ETs...
a couple of minutes later one of my teachers came to the class (where the only multi cellular living organism was me) and glared at me... (sheesh.. cant i be alone for at least a second???).. i got up to follow her. but she bellowed out "Don't you dare.. sit down there...".. ( huh?? and i thought sitting here was the issue..) soon she was joined by other teachers. and then by students... and they were all glaring at me.. (oh my god did i loose my cover.. did the landing of the craft blow my cover??).. at least i knew what a animal inside a cage in a zoo would feel like.. all the looks were of disbelief and ... angry?? then there was a sound of someone crying... (analysing the frequency, pitch and pattern of the cry.. i understood that it was from a 3rd grade boy... now why would he be crying??) pushing through the barrier of humans my class mate Ivy came in to the class... she was crying.. the moment she saw me she ran over an pushed and started crying even louder... (hey hey hey.. what is going on here).. next the principal came over and lifted me up (hmmm.. she must have confused me with a rabbit coz she was holding only my ears).. and took me to behind the UKG building.. and told me to read something which was scrawled there.. i adjusted my specs and moved forward to read it...
written on the wall using bright orange crayons were..
"I LOVE IVY.."
nelvin..
ok... so i can read.. (wait a second.. that was my name in that... and i love ivy?? do i?? hmmm.. she was kinda cute though... but.. hmmm... what am i thinking.. i did not write that... maybe those pesky aliens did it..).. i turned to face the huge crowd behind me.. well at least i saw some giggling happening there.. whew that was a relief.. i managed a smile.. my best smile (i was a firm believer that if ever you get into trouble.., cuteness counts...) but somehow things were not going in my way.. i was once again hauled up to the principals office.. and soon there were calls being routed all over to my parents and stuff... (frankly i was fascinated at the speed with which she was using the 3 phones on her desk... cool..)
parents came... teachers came.. (at that moment i cam to realise a fact that its when parents are called for something bad that the teachers converge to complaint... till then all they said was "he's so sweet (i don't know how they say that without tasting me..).. he's cute etc etc"...) and i was asked to say sorry to her and her parents... i did.. after all its just a word like any other, its us who made a meaning for it.. and to top the charts i was give 3 days suspension... (thus becoming eligible for the youngest human to get suspension for a sexual-harassment case... if only had i applied..).. so i went home to another round of caning from dad.. ( i figured out that the thickness of the cane is inversely proportional to the pain inflicted provided the relative velocity and location of the strike remains constant.. note to self : when asked to fetch a cane go for the thickest one).. i knew it was useless to plead.. so i just took the hits.. after all pain was just a feeling.. soon it was over...
4 days later...
i went to the class and went down to sit at my place amidst stares and glares... next to my only true friend and buddy (coz he did not stare or pass comments..).. as the class started.. i confided to him that i did not do that... he most understandingly told me he knew that and he believed me... (that was so sweet... but being analytical in life has some advantages..).. you knew it?? how?? coz i was the person who wrote it!!!!!
What??? i could not believe it... this was not happening.. the next thing i remember is a wrestling match in which i was putting a dead lock on him.. and the teachers carrying 2 entangled bodies to the principals office... well.. the result.. (note to self: ask parents to shift home closer to school to save travel expenses).. thankfully we escaped with caning.. and me being a good guy (or probably coz i wanted him all to myself) i did not utter a word to the teachers.. so i forgave him...
but once analytic, always like that.. so i asked him why he did it.. his answer was something which i will never forget all my life... " i wanted to know how the reaction will be when we write I LOVE YOU (frankly he had no idea what that meant.. ) to a girl.. and also the reaction of the surrounding humans also.. since i wanted a physical representation of it i had to write names there.. so i chose ivy's name coz that was the shortest name to spell.. and as for the other name its not right to put my name as i wont be an observer then.. so other than mine the only name i know to spell is yours... that's y!!!....but hey my research worked na?..."
no wonder we never discuss our research.. frankly we don't need to...
in short we complete each other as friends and brothers!!!!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
try try try till you......
its true... shocks never last.. it just neutralises itself by channeling it to the nearest ground!!! i figured out that this is not only applicable in electronics.. but even in real life...
they say that true courage lies in the person who gets up and tries again once he fails... and i am courageous... at least i wanted to prove that to everyone.. so i had to do the unthinkable.. so other go than to... well try try again... so it happened..
there are some mistakes which you have to correct before you do it.. others once you do it.. but frankly there are cases when you become so persistent to get it done in the same way as you previously failed (which btw is purely so dumb).. well anyway.. it so happened that i was to do the same thing.. after all my prestige was at stake.. so i decided to move front under the guidance of..... JINO...
a couple of weeks after the aftermath of the incident, when the rate of increase of teasing was getting reduced (something like they reached the saturation limit).. i went to jino for a detailed analysis of the mistake i made that day.. he was a true friend.. he agreed to do it for free.. and gave me a deadline date of 8 days (Sunday included)... on the 8th day he presented to me his findings...
problem 1) "it seems that you are too good for her (ok... here is a encouraging statement...).. i mean in computers not anything else (bah.... thanks a lot mate..). so you have to either bring her to your standard or you have to come down to her's.. (come down to her standard, bring her to my standard?? what does he mean by standard??? not the class coz we are already in my class.. then what else?? its defined as A flag, banner, or ensign, especially the ensign of a chief of state, nation, or city...hmmm.. no way... confused!!!!)"
problem 2) "she is of a category of girls which does not fall for words (category?? in gals there are categories?? that means classifications... it means logic.. algorithms and problem solving... hmmm... maybe this was not such a bad idea after all..)... she is of the type that requires you to demonstrate how much you love her first... (WHAT?? demonstrate love?? how does a homo sapien demonstrate love.. the predecessor of homo sapien which is the ape or Pongo pygmaeus.. they show love by beating on there chest, stamping their feet and giving a mating call... and not to forget fighting for their territory).... you must really make her feel how much you love her... (oh god this is definitely a bad idea... )"
problem 3) "you should spend more time with her... i mean you should make her see more of you.. where ever she looks she should see you.. in class, after it, in her dreams etc.. (in class... fine.. after class.. hmmm fine... in her dreams?? now where can i get the schematics for a dream inducer or at least a telepathic data streamer??)"
at this point i was totally lost.. not even when my parents brought me a book on quantum mechanics or i was reading the Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen theory's application in teleportation was i so confused... very well... y bother to understand it when there is a direct solution to it... ask him for the solution... so i did just that.. he took another 4 days.. and finally after 27 days... he came up with the next plan... hi so called counter-counter-failed-original-master-plan... (no idea what the heck that means... as using counter twice would negate the initial negative approach of the statement.. hmmm still interesting usage...)
sol 1) "you have to get less marks than her in a computer exam and show to her that you are in the same standard as her.. (oh he meant marks by standard... how dumb.. no dictionary defines standard as.. marks..).. so how much marks did you get in the last two exams??? ( well i got a 25/25 and another 24.5/25... hmmm note to self: put semicolon at end of statements)... see so you have good marks.. since the marking is best 2 of 3 you don't have any problem..( hey he did have a point!!! but i can get 2 100 percent though... oh. well sacrifice it... done).. good"
sol 2) "Feb 14 is coming up...(oh... that stupid valentines day... another market hype to get more sales).. so you should buy her a gift... (gift?? oh that's easy.. i mean what type???) a real electrifying one.. which would really show how you feel about her... (oh.. hmmmm time to visit 'memories'.. and i know what to buy her too..)"
sol 3) "to be close to her you must join the same tuition class. and then also call her in the evening asking for doubts.. (tuition?? thats fine.. but calling?? NO WAY DUDE!!!)... so you have to join hey physics and maths tuition class!!! (physics tuition class??? for what?? teaching?? OMG... maths?? hmm thats ok i guess...)
so first i had to deal with the third solution... i had to convince my parents that i needed physics tuition.. now how can i do that when we are quite exceptionally good in science subjects... hey but i am not someone who would let go so easily. i used the same tactic as the salesman who would sell a fridge to an Eskimo. i told them i needed to bring my answer level to the lower scale so i had to attend tuition... guess what it worked.. (well if you don't include the question my mom asked about if she was in the same center". maths was relatively easy.... so mission one is a success... and i should say that i did receive a lot of 'encouragements' from the existing tuition mates.
then came the 2nd solution.. i did buy the exact gift that jino wanted me to buy.. i got it packed and even took the liberty of throwing in a I LOVE YOU card with it.. (man.. i am definitely starting to understand humans).. so on FEB 14 i went and gave her the gift. and to my surprise Jino had prepared me a gift as well to go with mine.. it was a chart paper with the pic of a baby in it!!!! (call it delusional if you want but it did bring out a weird aura with it.. seemed to match that mating call i was talking about..).. so i went ahead and gave it to her.... IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS!!!.. she had no other options but to accept it.. (genius)... she first opened the chart paper... and i got proof that the blushing is a reality for others too.. (but seriously couldn't understand y!!!).. one look from her at me gave me the telepathic warning to remove all kinds of weapons from her immediate surroundings.. next was the card.. (heart pounding... must be adrenaline).. one look and... wow it looked as if she was floating in the air with the card supporting her foot from beneath!!! (most others would take that she is disrespecting the card.. but me being positive (in terms of blood group also) and optimistic i took it as she was placing herself on top of it... so sweet...)... but the next look from her told me to initiate a red alert to my defensive systems.. at least she had the gift to open.. it would really give her the feeling i used to have as jino said.. she tore open the pack as a monkey would do to a paper book..(err... was that a bad metaphor to use here??? after all monkeys have relation to humans!!!) she took hold of the silver box.. and opened it.. (i was feeling faint...).. "AAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.... my god... aaa...." and threw the box down.. (it was so dramatic.. hey i am never so dramatic.. maybe its a psychological phenomena occurring with gals..).. still i didn't know that a shock-book could discharge that much current.. what could be wrong.. i used to have somewhat the same feeling.. but it used to emit from my brain and not from a charged capacitor.. well its not right to explain what else happened.. coz the next thing was jino banging his head on the wall and then dragging me out of there...
well after the through training from jino.. this time i was confident that i wont screw up.. it was the day of the exam and i was so very relaxed.. i took the answer paper and wrote..
#include
#include
void main()
{
cout<<"end";
}
thats it... i sat there dreaming of the places would go with her.. the letters i would write to her.. the programs i would code for her.. the theories we both could sit together and discuss.. and after one hour i submitted the paper and left... around a week later the teacher came to give out the answer paper.. it was there... anna... 22/25, aswin...16/25... rakesh.. 20/25.. etc etc.. and finally nelvin .. half out of 25.. stand up there... (looks of disbelief from everyone in the class except jino who flashes a thumbs up (which by the way is the wrong gesture as it signifies the wishing of luck for a future incident.. a completed mission is to be represented by a victory sign.. sheesh.. humans...) soon she was all over me.. "you are having to much headweight (which is true for all humans)... you think you are some kind of extra ordinary human who can get marks simply ( am i not???)... you will suffer in the main exams.. you just wait.. shame on you.. "i dont know why but i feel so happy inside...).. and take off that stupid smile from your face... sit down there.... maneesha... 22/25... etc etc.. jobina... "stand up there... what is wrong with you?? what is with you?? only two have failed... and its such a shame.. (its working.. the plan is unfolding.. hey maybe she will arrange a compulsory combined study for us together... thanks a lot jino..).. shame on you... you could have at least scores half a mark.. jobina.. 0/25..."
WHAT???? comm'on this was not happening.. she could have at least written a pre-processor directive!! i tried my best...and it was a failure.. but the damage was already done.. the power of human observation is pretty good.. the class understood the attempt i was making.. and to my horror jino confirmed it... well here it goes again.. the rate of increase of......
friends!!!! whew... what are they for.. pesky human!!!!
they say that true courage lies in the person who gets up and tries again once he fails... and i am courageous... at least i wanted to prove that to everyone.. so i had to do the unthinkable.. so other go than to... well try try again... so it happened..
there are some mistakes which you have to correct before you do it.. others once you do it.. but frankly there are cases when you become so persistent to get it done in the same way as you previously failed (which btw is purely so dumb).. well anyway.. it so happened that i was to do the same thing.. after all my prestige was at stake.. so i decided to move front under the guidance of..... JINO...
a couple of weeks after the aftermath of the incident, when the rate of increase of teasing was getting reduced (something like they reached the saturation limit).. i went to jino for a detailed analysis of the mistake i made that day.. he was a true friend.. he agreed to do it for free.. and gave me a deadline date of 8 days (Sunday included)... on the 8th day he presented to me his findings...
problem 1) "it seems that you are too good for her (ok... here is a encouraging statement...).. i mean in computers not anything else (bah.... thanks a lot mate..). so you have to either bring her to your standard or you have to come down to her's.. (come down to her standard, bring her to my standard?? what does he mean by standard??? not the class coz we are already in my class.. then what else?? its defined as A flag, banner, or ensign, especially the ensign of a chief of state, nation, or city...hmmm.. no way... confused!!!!)"
problem 2) "she is of a category of girls which does not fall for words (category?? in gals there are categories?? that means classifications... it means logic.. algorithms and problem solving... hmmm... maybe this was not such a bad idea after all..)... she is of the type that requires you to demonstrate how much you love her first... (WHAT?? demonstrate love?? how does a homo sapien demonstrate love.. the predecessor of homo sapien which is the ape or Pongo pygmaeus.. they show love by beating on there chest, stamping their feet and giving a mating call... and not to forget fighting for their territory).... you must really make her feel how much you love her... (oh god this is definitely a bad idea... )"
problem 3) "you should spend more time with her... i mean you should make her see more of you.. where ever she looks she should see you.. in class, after it, in her dreams etc.. (in class... fine.. after class.. hmmm fine... in her dreams?? now where can i get the schematics for a dream inducer or at least a telepathic data streamer??)"
at this point i was totally lost.. not even when my parents brought me a book on quantum mechanics or i was reading the Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen theory's application in teleportation was i so confused... very well... y bother to understand it when there is a direct solution to it... ask him for the solution... so i did just that.. he took another 4 days.. and finally after 27 days... he came up with the next plan... hi so called counter-counter-failed-original-master-plan... (no idea what the heck that means... as using counter twice would negate the initial negative approach of the statement.. hmmm still interesting usage...)
sol 1) "you have to get less marks than her in a computer exam and show to her that you are in the same standard as her.. (oh he meant marks by standard... how dumb.. no dictionary defines standard as.. marks..).. so how much marks did you get in the last two exams??? ( well i got a 25/25 and another 24.5/25... hmmm note to self: put semicolon at end of statements)... see so you have good marks.. since the marking is best 2 of 3 you don't have any problem..( hey he did have a point!!! but i can get 2 100 percent though... oh. well sacrifice it... done).. good"
sol 2) "Feb 14 is coming up...(oh... that stupid valentines day... another market hype to get more sales).. so you should buy her a gift... (gift?? oh that's easy.. i mean what type???) a real electrifying one.. which would really show how you feel about her... (oh.. hmmmm time to visit 'memories'.. and i know what to buy her too..)"
sol 3) "to be close to her you must join the same tuition class. and then also call her in the evening asking for doubts.. (tuition?? thats fine.. but calling?? NO WAY DUDE!!!)... so you have to join hey physics and maths tuition class!!! (physics tuition class??? for what?? teaching?? OMG... maths?? hmm thats ok i guess...)
so first i had to deal with the third solution... i had to convince my parents that i needed physics tuition.. now how can i do that when we are quite exceptionally good in science subjects... hey but i am not someone who would let go so easily. i used the same tactic as the salesman who would sell a fridge to an Eskimo. i told them i needed to bring my answer level to the lower scale so i had to attend tuition... guess what it worked.. (well if you don't include the question my mom asked about if she was in the same center". maths was relatively easy.... so mission one is a success... and i should say that i did receive a lot of 'encouragements' from the existing tuition mates.
then came the 2nd solution.. i did buy the exact gift that jino wanted me to buy.. i got it packed and even took the liberty of throwing in a I LOVE YOU card with it.. (man.. i am definitely starting to understand humans).. so on FEB 14 i went and gave her the gift. and to my surprise Jino had prepared me a gift as well to go with mine.. it was a chart paper with the pic of a baby in it!!!! (call it delusional if you want but it did bring out a weird aura with it.. seemed to match that mating call i was talking about..).. so i went ahead and gave it to her.... IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS!!!.. she had no other options but to accept it.. (genius)... she first opened the chart paper... and i got proof that the blushing is a reality for others too.. (but seriously couldn't understand y!!!).. one look from her at me gave me the telepathic warning to remove all kinds of weapons from her immediate surroundings.. next was the card.. (heart pounding... must be adrenaline).. one look and... wow it looked as if she was floating in the air with the card supporting her foot from beneath!!! (most others would take that she is disrespecting the card.. but me being positive (in terms of blood group also) and optimistic i took it as she was placing herself on top of it... so sweet...)... but the next look from her told me to initiate a red alert to my defensive systems.. at least she had the gift to open.. it would really give her the feeling i used to have as jino said.. she tore open the pack as a monkey would do to a paper book..(err... was that a bad metaphor to use here??? after all monkeys have relation to humans!!!) she took hold of the silver box.. and opened it.. (i was feeling faint...).. "AAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.... my god... aaa...." and threw the box down.. (it was so dramatic.. hey i am never so dramatic.. maybe its a psychological phenomena occurring with gals..).. still i didn't know that a shock-book could discharge that much current.. what could be wrong.. i used to have somewhat the same feeling.. but it used to emit from my brain and not from a charged capacitor.. well its not right to explain what else happened.. coz the next thing was jino banging his head on the wall and then dragging me out of there...
well after the through training from jino.. this time i was confident that i wont screw up.. it was the day of the exam and i was so very relaxed.. i took the answer paper and wrote..
#include
#include
void main()
{
cout<<"end";
}
thats it... i sat there dreaming of the places would go with her.. the letters i would write to her.. the programs i would code for her.. the theories we both could sit together and discuss.. and after one hour i submitted the paper and left... around a week later the teacher came to give out the answer paper.. it was there... anna... 22/25, aswin...16/25... rakesh.. 20/25.. etc etc.. and finally nelvin .. half out of 25.. stand up there... (looks of disbelief from everyone in the class except jino who flashes a thumbs up (which by the way is the wrong gesture as it signifies the wishing of luck for a future incident.. a completed mission is to be represented by a victory sign.. sheesh.. humans...) soon she was all over me.. "you are having to much headweight (which is true for all humans)... you think you are some kind of extra ordinary human who can get marks simply ( am i not???)... you will suffer in the main exams.. you just wait.. shame on you.. "i dont know why but i feel so happy inside...).. and take off that stupid smile from your face... sit down there.... maneesha... 22/25... etc etc.. jobina... "stand up there... what is wrong with you?? what is with you?? only two have failed... and its such a shame.. (its working.. the plan is unfolding.. hey maybe she will arrange a compulsory combined study for us together... thanks a lot jino..).. shame on you... you could have at least scores half a mark.. jobina.. 0/25..."
WHAT???? comm'on this was not happening.. she could have at least written a pre-processor directive!! i tried my best...and it was a failure.. but the damage was already done.. the power of human observation is pretty good.. the class understood the attempt i was making.. and to my horror jino confirmed it... well here it goes again.. the rate of increase of......
friends!!!! whew... what are they for.. pesky human!!!!
Monday, January 21, 2008
MOM's the word....
2 days over... i held myself.. trying to avoid everyone at school... home was where peace was (including pieces of food)...
upon returning home that day i found my mom at the dining table.. and some how i figured out that she was smiling from her eyes but was holding it from reaching her lips...(hey its a fact.. coz the perception of smiling in the eyes can be solely attributable to a configurational effect projecting from the mouth region.. its easy to figure that out)... she looked 'sad'... she offered me my fav food.. (errr... frankly everything is my favourite.. so that was just a figure of speech)... and .....
MOM: come dear, sit down..... have something to eat...
ME: ( obeying it like a non-AI based robot obeying hard coded instruction)... yes... 'mommy'... (time to overclock my brain activity... juice it up a bit. two options.. ADVICE or COMPLAINT... probability of advice is more by 27% )
MOM: there is something important i want to tell you.... (looking down...) about your future...
BEEEP BEEEP BEEEPP... ALARM ALARM... this is bad bad bad... what did i do... time to do some search.. scan memory bank for keywords 'failure', 'trouble', 'fights' and of course use similarly matched words to supplement the search... why did i procrastinate the memory indexing/ creating of meta data!!! now how am i going to complete searching if i have been into trouble.... hmmmm no time to search in the last 3 years period... welll lets see.. last week.. (i did not do anything wrong other than bang one of my friend with a wooden chair for drinking beer!!! but that was negotiated for na???)
oh wait a second... future??? i am 17 years old!!! future would mean +1 year (statistically Indian parents mean approx 1-2 years forward in time when they refer to term future)... GOD!!!!! no no no... please not what i think... i just hope she is not gonna give me a parent to son sex-education!!! that's the last thing!!! by heavens i am a damn researcher (by mind)!!! she should know that i might have already done some research on it (heh heh heh)!!!! sheeesh... ejection seat?? no way... option 2.. don't look at her... and of course talk your way out of it..
ME: (stuffing mouth full of whatever that was offered to me).. Mom... ish ttat (chomp chomp chew) beally rekuaired?? (gulp chomp..)
MOM: why can't a mom advice a son about something he should do in the future???
ME: (gooooood god!!! its true.. primary estimate is true..... I'm so gonna be red all over!!!) Mommy.. (more fud in mouth).. I know what to do in my... err... 'future'..
MOM: oh... so have you decided on what you will do in the future??
ME: (decided??? what the...?? why would anyone decide?? its pre-coded into any animals DNA!!! and we would be pertaining to our perfectly normal animal (note to self again: HUMANS ARE ANIMALS) behaviour)... what is there to decide in this... I'll.. ahem ahem... take it as it comes...
MOM: huh??? what are you talking about??? (genuine confusion registered on her face)
ME: errr.. my .. future?!!!! (looking up at her for the first time).
MOM: so have you made any change in plans??? so far??
change in plans?? aha. she is not talking about that.... yahooooooooooooooooo...... I'm saved... thank you. thank you... (make note about which all churches deserve the candles.. even though me not a church go-er still not a non believer)... heh heh heh.. its just that stupid career oriented talk... heh heh heh... what the heck.. who cares.. (reduce overclock... system returning to normal.... disable the flashing Reds... )
ME: oh.. that future.. ( 1000 MW smile on my face).. that's OK.. I've got it all figured.. don't worry about that mommy... ( showing the triple-double-eyebrow raise routine)
MOM: any recent changes in it???
ME: naaaaa.... its set for the past 9 years... solid stuff.. as uncorrupted as titanium or space grade composite aluminium.
MOM: oh... but.... then can i suggest a small change in it??
ME: change?? (time to open the my national express highway connecting my two ears).. sure...go on..
MOM: How about becoming a priest??? In a church??
ME: uh huh!!! (express high way is working smoothly...What was she saying??)
MOM: or...... more precisely.. ahem.. a 'MALE NUN'....
BEEEEEEEEPPP BEEEEEEEEPPP BEEEEEEPPPP...unauthorized entry detected... HALT... oh no... pile up in the national highway... CRITICAL DAMAGE!!!! no way.. she DID NOT just say that.. it was a coincidence.. ( i know the chance of saying that is 1/18000 * 1/18000.. conditional probability with number of available words in English language.. its 3.24 x 10 to the power negative 8.. how on earth did she come up with this coincidence!!!)
ME: (shivering... sweating... ).. w.. wh.. whaa.. whaaat????
MOM: ( bursting into the biggest laughter I've ever seen!!!)... Male NUN..
there.. there.. she said it again... that would increase the chances to 1.04976 x 10 to power negative 17.. no way... she knew it... but she looked so happy laughing.. and enjoying it... awwww.... so sweet.. soo.. ( WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING... she is... torturing me... killing me.... time to take drastic actions)..
ME: WHO TOLD YOU??? WHO WHO WHO WHO???
MOM: HAAAAAAAA.. HA HA HA HA... HEEE HEEE HEEEEE..
execute emergency exit plan...
1)stop eating (but i couldn't finish)
2)run up stairs (up up and away...)
3)get inside room...
4) bang door shut with all my power.. (no.. sound is not enough.. try again by altering the position of the window pane to achieve acoustical resonance)
5) SULK...
6) control hunger during dinner... (toughest part)
7) don't talk to mom for 3 days, 14 hours, 33 min, 12 seconds and 54 micro seconds. (set timer in watch)
8) watch Chinese torture films to get inspiration to plot revenge on the traitor who did this to me!!!
ADVICE HUH?? WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THIS??? frankly i would have liked the other talk more!!! and the candles?? ya right!!! me and church!!!
life sucks!!! big time.... but hey.. who's complaining!!!!
upon returning home that day i found my mom at the dining table.. and some how i figured out that she was smiling from her eyes but was holding it from reaching her lips...(hey its a fact.. coz the perception of smiling in the eyes can be solely attributable to a configurational effect projecting from the mouth region.. its easy to figure that out)... she looked 'sad'... she offered me my fav food.. (errr... frankly everything is my favourite.. so that was just a figure of speech)... and .....
MOM: come dear, sit down..... have something to eat...
ME: ( obeying it like a non-AI based robot obeying hard coded instruction)... yes... 'mommy'... (time to overclock my brain activity... juice it up a bit. two options.. ADVICE or COMPLAINT... probability of advice is more by 27% )
MOM: there is something important i want to tell you.... (looking down...) about your future...
BEEEP BEEEP BEEEPP... ALARM ALARM... this is bad bad bad... what did i do... time to do some search.. scan memory bank for keywords 'failure', 'trouble', 'fights' and of course use similarly matched words to supplement the search... why did i procrastinate the memory indexing/ creating of meta data!!! now how am i going to complete searching if i have been into trouble.... hmmmm no time to search in the last 3 years period... welll lets see.. last week.. (i did not do anything wrong other than bang one of my friend with a wooden chair for drinking beer!!! but that was negotiated for na???)
oh wait a second... future??? i am 17 years old!!! future would mean +1 year (statistically Indian parents mean approx 1-2 years forward in time when they refer to term future)... GOD!!!!! no no no... please not what i think... i just hope she is not gonna give me a parent to son sex-education!!! that's the last thing!!! by heavens i am a damn researcher (by mind)!!! she should know that i might have already done some research on it (heh heh heh)!!!! sheeesh... ejection seat?? no way... option 2.. don't look at her... and of course talk your way out of it..
ME: (stuffing mouth full of whatever that was offered to me).. Mom... ish ttat (chomp chomp chew) beally rekuaired?? (gulp chomp..)
MOM: why can't a mom advice a son about something he should do in the future???
ME: (gooooood god!!! its true.. primary estimate is true..... I'm so gonna be red all over!!!) Mommy.. (more fud in mouth).. I know what to do in my... err... 'future'..
MOM: oh... so have you decided on what you will do in the future??
ME: (decided??? what the...?? why would anyone decide?? its pre-coded into any animals DNA!!! and we would be pertaining to our perfectly normal animal (note to self again: HUMANS ARE ANIMALS) behaviour)... what is there to decide in this... I'll.. ahem ahem... take it as it comes...
MOM: huh??? what are you talking about??? (genuine confusion registered on her face)
ME: errr.. my .. future?!!!! (looking up at her for the first time).
MOM: so have you made any change in plans??? so far??
change in plans?? aha. she is not talking about that.... yahooooooooooooooooo...... I'm saved... thank you. thank you... (make note about which all churches deserve the candles.. even though me not a church go-er still not a non believer)... heh heh heh.. its just that stupid career oriented talk... heh heh heh... what the heck.. who cares.. (reduce overclock... system returning to normal.... disable the flashing Reds... )
ME: oh.. that future.. ( 1000 MW smile on my face).. that's OK.. I've got it all figured.. don't worry about that mommy... ( showing the triple-double-eyebrow raise routine)
MOM: any recent changes in it???
ME: naaaaa.... its set for the past 9 years... solid stuff.. as uncorrupted as titanium or space grade composite aluminium.
MOM: oh... but.... then can i suggest a small change in it??
ME: change?? (time to open the my national express highway connecting my two ears).. sure...go on..
MOM: How about becoming a priest??? In a church??
ME: uh huh!!! (express high way is working smoothly...What was she saying??)
MOM: or...... more precisely.. ahem.. a 'MALE NUN'....
BEEEEEEEEPPP BEEEEEEEEPPP BEEEEEEPPPP...unauthorized entry detected... HALT... oh no... pile up in the national highway... CRITICAL DAMAGE!!!! no way.. she DID NOT just say that.. it was a coincidence.. ( i know the chance of saying that is 1/18000 * 1/18000.. conditional probability with number of available words in English language.. its 3.24 x 10 to the power negative 8.. how on earth did she come up with this coincidence!!!)
ME: (shivering... sweating... ).. w.. wh.. whaa.. whaaat????
MOM: ( bursting into the biggest laughter I've ever seen!!!)... Male NUN..
there.. there.. she said it again... that would increase the chances to 1.04976 x 10 to power negative 17.. no way... she knew it... but she looked so happy laughing.. and enjoying it... awwww.... so sweet.. soo.. ( WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING... she is... torturing me... killing me.... time to take drastic actions)..
ME: WHO TOLD YOU??? WHO WHO WHO WHO???
MOM: HAAAAAAAA.. HA HA HA HA... HEEE HEEE HEEEEE..
execute emergency exit plan...
1)stop eating (but i couldn't finish)
2)run up stairs (up up and away...)
3)get inside room...
4) bang door shut with all my power.. (no.. sound is not enough.. try again by altering the position of the window pane to achieve acoustical resonance)
5) SULK...
6) control hunger during dinner... (toughest part)
7) don't talk to mom for 3 days, 14 hours, 33 min, 12 seconds and 54 micro seconds. (set timer in watch)
8) watch Chinese torture films to get inspiration to plot revenge on the traitor who did this to me!!!
ADVICE HUH?? WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THIS??? frankly i would have liked the other talk more!!! and the candles?? ya right!!! me and church!!!
life sucks!!! big time.... but hey.. who's complaining!!!!
Friday, January 18, 2008
A Proposal!!!
firstly, the contents of this story is totally fictitious and any resemblance to anyone other than me is totally coincidental.
It all started with me coming back to a co-ed school after a long break of 5 years in a boys school.. so for me, girls were aliens!!! no offence please!.. so being in a class of more than 30 girls was quite a feast for me!!! but among all of them.. there was just one.. her name was Jobina (name changed to avoid a trip to hell.. literally). so i dont know y.. but you can call it something like love at first sight.. one day she came and sat on the teacher's platform and there it was... everything was so clear.. i figured what i was living for.. i was in love.. she was destined to become mine!!! it was so Damn clear!!!
But being in a boys school has a lot of disadvantages.. one being not being able to talk to a girl.. especially if we are attracted to her.. and for pete's sake there is not way i am going to propose to her.. so i took refuge by telling this to my 2 greatest friends Geethanjali (name changed) and Jino (name NOT changed).. well about jino?? he was the self proclaimed ladies man!!! hmm... well someone who claimed to know girls more than a gyna would know... errr not literally though!! so he took over the ropes of my love life.. he told me to follow his commands and she would fall for me within no time!! hey LOVE IS BLIND.. and DUMB!! well i agreed!!!
So started the training.. well it started by him giving me various films (read romantic old age films) to watch. and also gave me dialogues which i am to study in order to fulfill my destiny!! ( frankly battling in a star wars film against the phantom would have been more easy).. but i did it.. i went through the entire routine and prepared myself using the ancient Chinese methods of concentration. while i was on it he prepared my battle plan.. the sleek way of implementing it... so it came..
It was a Tuesday.. the last hour was free.. so we all came out to play.. while the girls prepared for basketball and the boys for football.. i prepared for the greatest game of my life.. she was sitting at the stadium stairs... Jino gave me the final Dos and Don'ts and a last minute confidence speech. i was sweating... my heart was pounding and everything was a blur for me.. even with my new specs on!!! but there was no turning back.. so i went over and
ME- hey Jobina!!
JO: hi, whassup?
ME: I want to tell you something very important. something that has a lot of importance to me.
JO: oh... ok.. whats it?
ME: well... ummm.... errrr.... its... like..... (sweating like hell)...
JO: are you ok???
ME: taking in a deep breath... well its like this..
JO: ya
ME: you see.. its my heart.. It is divided into two.. One for the world and the other piece is for you... (frankly i knew that it was scientifically impossible.. as its divided into 2 atrias and 2 ventricles.. and i need all those chambers to survive and i CANNOT afford to give pieces of it to everyone!!!! but.. hey.... jino is controlling me here!!!)
JO: ...........................................
ME: errr.. did you hear me???
JO: ................................................
ME: (waiting for a few secs)..... (tapping feet)... hmmm.. (at this point my perfectly logical brain figured out that maybe she was not understanding the high end English i was using!!!)....
JO: ..................... (looking straight at me)...........
ME: oki.. let me explain it to you... i meant that my heart is split into two pieces... one piece i've kept aside for you... and the other piece its..... oh forget about that piece... ( again it was perfect stupidity!! how can i forget about a organ which is hardwired into my medulla oblongata)
JO: ............................... (looking confused and of course uninterested)...........
ME: (now i was practically sure that she was not my understanding English at all)... errr.. jobina... it just means that i love you very much.. i feel really different when i see you... (now that was making sense as physically is the the brain releasing neurotrophins which by the way are chemicals that nourish nerves making a feeling of freshness and increase in heart beat rate)..
JO:........................................................... (no reaction at all.. was she deaf???)..............
ME: (this was starting to get really out of hand.. and i was loosing patience)... ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT??? I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU... DID YOU HEAR IT OR NOT???
JO: ........ (as if i woke her out of some dream).. oh... ok!!! ( turned to leave)..
ME: (scanning around for moral support from jino... and unfortunately finding only two of my classmates Aswathy and Manju sitting and watching the scene unfold... hey... when did they appear???)......... wait a sec.. hold on... that was a question.. not a statement.. you are supposed to answer that!!!!
JO: .................. oh......................
at this point my brain was in overdrive... calculating all permutations and combinations for the possible replies and the dialogue i was to give her back.. i had practically completed a C program in my head with the sufficient switch statements... ( even i had taken trouble to declare loop variables as a register type to increase the speed of execution...)...
what could it be?? " I also love you a lot...." (probability 75.61%... I'm optimistic).... " I've seen you as my friend/brother ..." (probability 16.22%).... " i already have a boy friend...." (probability 5.43%).... " i need to think...." ( probability 2.1%).... "I want to ask my parents..." (probability 0.63999%) (ya seriously some gals are that dumb!!!)... and the default clause.. ie something else (probability 0.00001%)... hey had answers for everything... so why worry???
JO: ......... well.. (looking straight at me... )... I WANT TO BECOME A NUN!!!!!!!!............
ME:....... [SYSTEM FAILURE]...... [Invalid operation encountered].... ok... (where the heck is the eject lever when you need one????)..
Last few things i remember that day??? Aswathy and Manju laughing their a** off..... a New song having words Jobina, nun and my name being sung on bus.... becoming red all over is a physically possible feat!!!
It all started with me coming back to a co-ed school after a long break of 5 years in a boys school.. so for me, girls were aliens!!! no offence please!.. so being in a class of more than 30 girls was quite a feast for me!!! but among all of them.. there was just one.. her name was Jobina (name changed to avoid a trip to hell.. literally). so i dont know y.. but you can call it something like love at first sight.. one day she came and sat on the teacher's platform and there it was... everything was so clear.. i figured what i was living for.. i was in love.. she was destined to become mine!!! it was so Damn clear!!!
But being in a boys school has a lot of disadvantages.. one being not being able to talk to a girl.. especially if we are attracted to her.. and for pete's sake there is not way i am going to propose to her.. so i took refuge by telling this to my 2 greatest friends Geethanjali (name changed) and Jino (name NOT changed).. well about jino?? he was the self proclaimed ladies man!!! hmm... well someone who claimed to know girls more than a gyna would know... errr not literally though!! so he took over the ropes of my love life.. he told me to follow his commands and she would fall for me within no time!! hey LOVE IS BLIND.. and DUMB!! well i agreed!!!
So started the training.. well it started by him giving me various films (read romantic old age films) to watch. and also gave me dialogues which i am to study in order to fulfill my destiny!! ( frankly battling in a star wars film against the phantom would have been more easy).. but i did it.. i went through the entire routine and prepared myself using the ancient Chinese methods of concentration. while i was on it he prepared my battle plan.. the sleek way of implementing it... so it came..
It was a Tuesday.. the last hour was free.. so we all came out to play.. while the girls prepared for basketball and the boys for football.. i prepared for the greatest game of my life.. she was sitting at the stadium stairs... Jino gave me the final Dos and Don'ts and a last minute confidence speech. i was sweating... my heart was pounding and everything was a blur for me.. even with my new specs on!!! but there was no turning back.. so i went over and
ME- hey Jobina!!
JO: hi, whassup?
ME: I want to tell you something very important. something that has a lot of importance to me.
JO: oh... ok.. whats it?
ME: well... ummm.... errrr.... its... like..... (sweating like hell)...
JO: are you ok???
ME: taking in a deep breath... well its like this..
JO: ya
ME: you see.. its my heart.. It is divided into two.. One for the world and the other piece is for you... (frankly i knew that it was scientifically impossible.. as its divided into 2 atrias and 2 ventricles.. and i need all those chambers to survive and i CANNOT afford to give pieces of it to everyone!!!! but.. hey.... jino is controlling me here!!!)
JO: ...........................................
ME: errr.. did you hear me???
JO: ................................................
ME: (waiting for a few secs)..... (tapping feet)... hmmm.. (at this point my perfectly logical brain figured out that maybe she was not understanding the high end English i was using!!!)....
JO: ..................... (looking straight at me)...........
ME: oki.. let me explain it to you... i meant that my heart is split into two pieces... one piece i've kept aside for you... and the other piece its..... oh forget about that piece... ( again it was perfect stupidity!! how can i forget about a organ which is hardwired into my medulla oblongata)
JO: ............................... (looking confused and of course uninterested)...........
ME: (now i was practically sure that she was not my understanding English at all)... errr.. jobina... it just means that i love you very much.. i feel really different when i see you... (now that was making sense as physically is the the brain releasing neurotrophins which by the way are chemicals that nourish nerves making a feeling of freshness and increase in heart beat rate)..
JO:........................................................... (no reaction at all.. was she deaf???)..............
ME: (this was starting to get really out of hand.. and i was loosing patience)... ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT??? I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU... DID YOU HEAR IT OR NOT???
JO: ........ (as if i woke her out of some dream).. oh... ok!!! ( turned to leave)..
ME: (scanning around for moral support from jino... and unfortunately finding only two of my classmates Aswathy and Manju sitting and watching the scene unfold... hey... when did they appear???)......... wait a sec.. hold on... that was a question.. not a statement.. you are supposed to answer that!!!!
JO: .................. oh......................
at this point my brain was in overdrive... calculating all permutations and combinations for the possible replies and the dialogue i was to give her back.. i had practically completed a C program in my head with the sufficient switch statements... ( even i had taken trouble to declare loop variables as a register type to increase the speed of execution...)...
what could it be?? " I also love you a lot...." (probability 75.61%... I'm optimistic).... " I've seen you as my friend/brother ..." (probability 16.22%).... " i already have a boy friend...." (probability 5.43%).... " i need to think...." ( probability 2.1%).... "I want to ask my parents..." (probability 0.63999%) (ya seriously some gals are that dumb!!!)... and the default clause.. ie something else (probability 0.00001%)... hey had answers for everything... so why worry???
JO: ......... well.. (looking straight at me... )... I WANT TO BECOME A NUN!!!!!!!!............
ME:....... [SYSTEM FAILURE]...... [Invalid operation encountered].... ok... (where the heck is the eject lever when you need one????)..
Last few things i remember that day??? Aswathy and Manju laughing their a** off..... a New song having words Jobina, nun and my name being sung on bus.... becoming red all over is a physically possible feat!!!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Chennai to cochin!!!!
It was a simple reason... i had to get my bike from chennai to cochin.. and unlike the previous case i DID NOT want to bring it in train (well the last time i did that.. i had to shell out nearly 3000 bucks on repairs!!! not to mention the scratches).. so this time i decided to ride it home!!!
so that day me along with my ex-college-roomey Kiran started off from chennai at around 6:30 am. The trip was quite good initially.. the ECR (East coast road) was awesome... really really awesome.. it was greenary on both sides of the road.. the breeze from the coastline was refreshing.. we cruised down the road at nearly 90 Kph.... but it was quite cold... unusually cold.. it was ominous.... then we felt it.. the wind stopped... and the there was silence... then it happened.. a storm that can only be equalled only by something like "the perfect storm". but it was too late to turn back.. so we moved on.. after all we are riding the chariot of the gods... so we continued on the journey even though we did not have even a jacket to protect us... we roared down the high way in order to overtake the storm and get away... guess what?? we did..
you are not gonna believe what we decided on... we went to a petrol pump and brought 2 bottles of MAK lubricant... heh heh heh... ya the ad says "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE".. not that i take those ads literally but hey how else can you ride 771 Kms with an Oil leak!!!!
thus one of the most tough n enjoyable trip came to an end!!! we had our share of troubles but the experience is one of a life time... the lessons we learned??? heh heh heh.... lets do it again!
so that day me along with my ex-college-roomey Kiran started off from chennai at around 6:30 am. The trip was quite good initially.. the ECR (East coast road) was awesome... really really awesome.. it was greenary on both sides of the road.. the breeze from the coastline was refreshing.. we cruised down the road at nearly 90 Kph.... but it was quite cold... unusually cold.. it was ominous.... then we felt it.. the wind stopped... and the there was silence... then it happened.. a storm that can only be equalled only by something like "the perfect storm". but it was too late to turn back.. so we moved on.. after all we are riding the chariot of the gods... so we continued on the journey even though we did not have even a jacket to protect us... we roared down the high way in order to overtake the storm and get away... guess what?? we did..
the last shot before the storm lashed us!!!
but a trip of this magnitude does not end with just this.. especially when i am the one who is doing the trip!!! so after a mad run from the storm we were nearing Villupuram (near to Pondicherry) when i felt a weird sound coming from the engine... hmmm... no what??? well you are not gonna believe it.. I had a OIL LEAK!!! and the oil was empty!!! god alone knows how my bike was running this far... well i thought of fixing it!!! but hey time is precious.. so i decided otherwise!!
you are not gonna believe what we decided on... we went to a petrol pump and brought 2 bottles of MAK lubricant... heh heh heh... ya the ad says "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE".. not that i take those ads literally but hey how else can you ride 771 Kms with an Oil leak!!!!
well so i filled her up and kept the bottle in my pocket (Military cargos) and continued our trip.. well what we did not see was that the oil leak was just the start of the adventures.. but we knew that we had made a really bad choice in selecting the route... the ECR was the 
only good road!!! soon we were offroading... with a cruiser!!! god it was horrible.. but ya nonetheless fun!!! well by the time we reached Trichy we were dry... well too dry.. actually dehydrated to the core... the TN sun is really something... still we pushed on.. soon we were nearing Madurai... but it was starting to get dark... then the unthinkable happened!!! the battery cover of the bike became dislodged when we went through a especially large pothole.. it fell on the road... at 60Kph... thanks to kiran i came to know of it (i was having an earphones on)... my Graphics.... yes.. SCRATCHED!!! what can i do but reattach it ant move ahead... and at nearly 7.45 in the evening we reached Madurai.
only good road!!! soon we were offroading... with a cruiser!!! god it was horrible.. but ya nonetheless fun!!! well by the time we reached Trichy we were dry... well too dry.. actually dehydrated to the core... the TN sun is really something... still we pushed on.. soon we were nearing Madurai... but it was starting to get dark... then the unthinkable happened!!! the battery cover of the bike became dislodged when we went through a especially large pothole.. it fell on the road... at 60Kph... thanks to kiran i came to know of it (i was having an earphones on)... my Graphics.... yes.. SCRATCHED!!! what can i do but reattach it ant move ahead... and at nearly 7.45 in the evening we reached Madurai.but by the time we reached there we had a new issue... my chain sprocket was damaged or shall i say worn off.. how bad?? OK lets say that we are supposed to change the sprocket every 10,000 to 12,000 Km.. mine has done 27000 Km without even one change.. heh heh heh.... i know!!! well so due to this my first gear was not working... so i was practically driving on 4 gears now.. and to top it all there was an issue with my clutch plate due to which i wont get power at lower RPM.. but while riding on an NH that's not an issue as we need only the 5th gear...
So even with all this we reached Madurai and checked in to a hotel and had the best sleep ever!!! whew it was so tiring!!! according to our plans we had decided to start at 7 the next day.. but we woke up at 10:45 am... cool na... but even that day was just getting started!!
the bike was parked in the basement of the hotel and the driveway up was paved with tiles.. and those $&%^% guys washed it that morning.. (did i mention the slope of the driveway??? hmmm.. lets say 40 degrees) ok so i took my bike (note the point that i don't have low RPM power and my first gear) and tried driving it up the slope.. ya you guessed it right!! the engine stalled at 3/4 way!!! and there was no stopping it even though the brakes were full.. i went straight back and crashed on to the pillar!!! my bikes beautiful box!!! and my tail lamp!!! gone!! but not so bad as i expected
!!! hmmm.. i managed to keep it in place using some ropes and other contraptions!!! finally we started off at around 12:30 from there....
!!! hmmm.. i managed to keep it in place using some ropes and other contraptions!!! finally we started off at around 12:30 from there....
the Madurai - Teni road was awesome.. scenery.. trees... hills... paddy fields.. etc etc.. we covered a lot of ground pretty fast.. then we started our climb towards Kumali.. and interestingly just at the starting of the high range roads i lost my 2nd gear also!!! now i was down on 3 gears and we were supposed to climb uphill!!! cool. so we recalculated our mission statistics and came to the conclusion that we were not to stop anywhere no matter what or we won't be able to move forward again!!! so we started our ascent!! we were doing great as the bike was havin enough power to move up in the 3rd and 4th gear!!
almost 10 Km up we were takin a hair pin turn when kiran told me to loo
k at the scenary.. it was so captivating that i unknowingly stopped the bike... yeah.. stopped!!! i realised my mistake.. but i was too late.. so we took photos there and enjoyed the view before we turned back and went down to start the climb again from start!!! heh heh heh... soon we crossed the kerala border and we met with the familiar kerala roads. we were actually riding like we were in the US.. on the right side of the road!!! why?? see the pic!!!
k at the scenary.. it was so captivating that i unknowingly stopped the bike... yeah.. stopped!!! i realised my mistake.. but i was too late.. so we took photos there and enjoyed the view before we turned back and went down to start the climb again from start!!! heh heh heh... soon we crossed the kerala border and we met with the familiar kerala roads. we were actually riding like we were in the US.. on the right side of the road!!! why?? see the pic!!! the rest of the trip was fine.. pretty much.. well at pala we lost the third gear and at chottanikkara we lost the 4th... by the time we reached my home we were not riding a avenger.. but something like the cross of an avenger and an Activa... one geared bike!!!
we were battered by the rain... wind... sun.. stones.. mechanical issues.. food... and what not... but against all odds we reached in time to take the final picture of the trip from the gate of my house!!!
thus one of the most tough n enjoyable trip came to an end!!! we had our share of troubles but the experience is one of a life time... the lessons we learned??? heh heh heh.... lets do it again!reg
ninja
i
the birth of a Bike!!!
It all started on 11th September 2005. No no no I did not buy it on that day… that’s the day I say the ad.. yes you got it right… the FEEL LIKE GOD… I gave a proposal to my mother about the bike… well I did have my own methods of convincing her. I have two very very close friends who thankfully had brought bikes recently.. so well I won the debate and it was decided that I am gonna get one. Now for the huge question – Which? Well that was the hard part. I proposed the Bajaj Avenger. Hmmm… met with a Firm NO… she wanted me to buy a vehicle which my sis too could use… an Activa!!! Comm’on no way I was gonna accept that!!!
Well the next day I was forced to use Gandhian principles which included fasting, silence and a March to the nearest bridge!!! Naaa.. don’t worry not to suicide or something like that. It was just to watch the boats there… but finally I got the big break… it was agreed..
On Sept 13 (not at all unlucky for me) 2005, I went to the popular Bajaj showroom and shelled out 67,000 bucks and took a blue Avenger to the roads!!! The moment i had my hands on the bike i knew that we are gonna have a looooooong relation!!! well the first stop was the churches and stuff... so that was it.. then came my first ride.. i wanted to get over the first service real quich.. so i went on my first trip.. to Coimbatore and back.. 1 day... it was fun...
On Sept 13 (not at all unlucky for me) 2005, I went to the popular Bajaj showroom and shelled out 67,000 bucks and took a blue Avenger to the roads!!! The moment i had my hands on the bike i knew that we are gonna have a looooooong relation!!! well the first stop was the churches and stuff... so that was it.. then came my first ride.. i wanted to get over the first service real quich.. so i went on my first trip.. to Coimbatore and back.. 1 day... it was fun...
It was then that something caught my eye.. i saw Avengers... a lot of them.. and mine was JUST ONE OF THEM!!!! hey i am not the kind of guy who would drive around something that others also have... so the moment i returned i went to the workshop to see what can be dont on ma avvy!!! so started the famous phase modification.. well initially it was just a modification!!
PHASE 1: it started with a paint job.. i wanted it to be of a different color.. somthing other than the stock offered color. but when i asked the mech he told me that he would be able to get me a graphics work.. frankly i had doubts... serious doubts.. still i thought "what the heck, who cares... at least it would look different!!!".. so i gave the go ahead!!! it was decided for 3000 bucks... but 2 days later he called me and told me that the painter liked the bike and would like to do a masterpiece on it and told me to shell out 20,ooo bucks... hmm... masterpiece huh??? well lets see it.. i gave the nod... then the wait started... days turned into weeks.. weeks into months... and months..... finally after 3 and a half months i got the much awaited call.. to come and see the finished product (did i tell you that i was not allowed to see the bike during this period??) then came the shock of the century... i was seriouly dumbfounded... why??? see for yourself...
that is the bike from the side.....
that is the clise up of the mud guard
and that of the tank.....
that is the bike from the side.....
that is the clise up of the mud guard
and that of the tank.....
shocked??? well guess my reaction!!!!
PHASE 2: the phase 1 was a grand success.. i was starting to get famous in the biking field.. well at least my bike was... it was then that my friends to me to go for some more mods.. well since i didn't want to dissappoint them i thought well lets see... so came the idea to throw in a pair of alloys. Thankfully (heh heh heh) there was some issue with my rear brakes of ma bike.. so i decided to get a disc at the back.. so that was to become the next phase... and ya in the last moment friends suggested me to go for a new crash guard... so it was decided... i ordered a custom alloys from RADO.. when that was a bit heavy on the pocket.. but still fully worth it.. and while i was doing it i thought i'll go for twin discs in the front too... i got the rear disc kit from outside and for the disc i decided to use a CBZ's disc.. but since i was getting a disc at the rear i needed to increase the front disc redius. so i brought that also!!!! and once the things were purchased in went my bike into the garage.. it took another 2 months for it to come out.. and ya i amost forgot.. i wanted my alloys to be different.. till today i have seen various colored alloys and even chrome plated alloys.. well i decided to get my alloys also graphic-ed!!! heh heh heh.. now that was one of a kind,, no one would usually do that due to the care that has to be taken to keep it from going off... and seriously i was not disappointed... wanna see??
that was before i did the graphics on the alloys.
thats a side view. without alloy graphics and crashguard
taken duing NITROUS a motor show at cochin!! check out the chopper/ spinner in place of the second front disc.. that too was done to make it different!!!
PHASE 3: well.. this was the craziest one them all... a real killer.... by this time i had suggestions from the avenger community in orkut.. also i should give a special mention to some of my college teachers without whose help i would not have been able to complete it.. unlike what most of you may think they did not give me any designs.. heh heh heh... i was bored in their class.. no offence to them!! fully my problem.. so i used to draw designs and parts for the bike... finally i thought i'll implement it... and thus came in to existance phase 3.. also thanks to my friend vishal who helped me get components from bangalore... well what all were there in phase 3?? hmmm.. started with a Box behind the bike.. then came a new wind sheild, a custom head lamp ( 3 in one with a focus beam also), a custom tail lamp, a new number plate, 2 different sets of neons (one pair of twin colors and one flicker), 2 more headlamps mounted on the crash guard, new mirrors (HD original), a new HD logo (not a sticker), a hazard light and some small things other than that. well once that was done i went for the seat... i got the thing made using a scale cutout of my drawing at a local steel worker. then got the upholsery made at a local BUS workshop with the same material they use for VOLVO buses. heh heh heh.. call that crazy.. then i went even more crazy by throwing in a universal charger and audio dock inside the box!!!! well that was what you call as HELL MODIFICATION!!!! the new look was a shocker to all my friends (not to mention family).. and trust me i was really really satisfied ( for some time only...) check it out..
that is the seat in making!!!
that is the rear of the bike with out the seat fitted. the skull is th brake light i was talking about.
this is the front view... see if you can find out the total number of headlamps?
that is the final condition along with my helmet(i did the paint work myself)
that is the view from other side!!!
didn't i tell you that i have like 6 headlamps?? and the neons extra?? does it resemble a UFO??
So came into existance my baby.. well this is not the end the mods i have in mind!!! it was a creative vent for me!!! all views are welcome!!!
reg
NINJ@
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The begining....
well well well... it all comes down to this.. i guess i should always start off with me huh??? hmm.. ok?
well my friends call me ninja.. or NJ.. ninja is mainly for those who have contact with me through the net or in a way my pen friends.. NJ is for the gals who know me... (guess it coz they cant remember my full name).. heh heh heh.. well so no the question would be what the heck is this NINJA?? huh?? well according to wikipedia its
"In the history of Japan, a ninja (忍者, ninja?) was someone specially trained in a variety of unorthodox arts of war. The methods used by ninja included assassination, espionage, and a variety of martial arts."
"In the history of Japan, a ninja (忍者, ninja?) was someone specially trained in a variety of unorthodox arts of war. The methods used by ninja included assassination, espionage, and a variety of martial arts."
well maybe i like coz i am interested in martial arts (learned karate and kungfu).. or maybe due to the unconventional or different attitude i follow to get things done.. anyway i guess it suits me.. and ya i do have it imprinted or embedded on everything i have.. starting with the notebooks to my bike, computer and ya of course on to my body!!!!
my interests would include computers and bikes mostly and of course research.. and of course i should specify it as unconventional research.. its mainly on what people dont think about.. NORMAL people dont think about!!!! well i will be posting about the various findings and theories that i have made... heh heh heh... my friends at my school used to call me proffessor.. due to this.. its a long story... so much time and even more to write.. thats bad.. well...
I'll write about it all soon... lets see... its like i'm in a hurry to actually get my first post online.. so me winding up for now.
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