A Proposal!!!

firstly, the contents of this story is totally fictitious and any resemblance to anyone other than me is totally coincidental.


It all started with me coming back to a co-ed school after a long break of 5 years in a boys school.. so for me, girls were aliens!!! no offence please!.. so being in a class of more than 30 girls was quite a feast for me!!! but among all of them.. there was just one.. her name was Jobina (name changed to avoid a trip to hell.. literally). so i dont know y.. but you can call it something like love at first sight.. one day she came and sat on the teacher's platform and there it was... everything was so clear.. i figured what i was living for.. i was in love.. she was destined to become mine!!! it was so Damn clear!!!


But being in a boys school has a lot of disadvantages.. one being not being able to talk to a girl.. especially if we are attracted to her.. and for pete's sake there is not way i am going to propose to her.. so i took refuge by telling this to my 2 greatest friends Geethanjali (name changed) and Jino (name NOT changed).. well about jino?? he was the self proclaimed ladies man!!! hmm... well someone who claimed to know girls more than a gyna would know... errr not literally though!! so he took over the ropes of my love life.. he told me to follow his commands and she would fall for me within no time!! hey LOVE IS BLIND.. and DUMB!! well i agreed!!!


So started the training.. well it started by him giving me various films (read romantic old age films) to watch. and also gave me dialogues which i am to study in order to fulfill my destiny!! ( frankly battling in a star wars film against the phantom would have been more easy).. but i did it.. i went through the entire routine and prepared myself using the ancient Chinese methods of concentration. while i was on it he prepared my battle plan.. the sleek way of implementing it... so it came..


It was a Tuesday.. the last hour was free.. so we all came out to play.. while the girls prepared for basketball and the boys for football.. i prepared for the greatest game of my life.. she was sitting at the stadium stairs... Jino gave me the final Dos and Don'ts and a last minute confidence speech. i was sweating... my heart was pounding and everything was a blur for me.. even with my new specs on!!! but there was no turning back.. so i went over and


ME- hey Jobina!!

JO: hi, whassup?

ME: I want to tell you something very important. something that has a lot of importance to me.

JO: oh... ok.. whats it?

ME: well... ummm.... errrr.... its... like..... (sweating like hell)...

JO: are you ok???

ME: taking in a deep breath... well its like this..

JO: ya

ME: you see.. its my heart.. It is divided into two.. One for the world and the other piece is for you... (frankly i knew that it was scientifically impossible.. as its divided into 2 atrias and 2 ventricles.. and i need all those chambers to survive and i CANNOT afford to give pieces of it to everyone!!!! but.. hey.... jino is controlling me here!!!)

JO: ...........................................

ME: errr.. did you hear me???

JO: ................................................

ME: (waiting for a few secs)..... (tapping feet)... hmmm.. (at this point my perfectly logical brain figured out that maybe she was not understanding the high end English i was using!!!)....

JO: ..................... (looking straight at me)...........

ME: oki.. let me explain it to you... i meant that my heart is split into two pieces... one piece i've kept aside for you... and the other piece its..... oh forget about that piece... ( again it was perfect stupidity!! how can i forget about a organ which is hardwired into my medulla oblongata)

JO: ............................... (looking confused and of course uninterested)...........

ME: (now i was practically sure that she was not my understanding English at all)... errr.. jobina... it just means that i love you very much.. i feel really different when i see you... (now that was making sense as physically is the the brain releasing neurotrophins which by the way are chemicals that nourish nerves making a feeling of freshness and increase in heart beat rate)..

JO:........................................................... (no reaction at all.. was she deaf???)..............

ME: (this was starting to get really out of hand.. and i was loosing patience)... ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT??? I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU... DID YOU HEAR IT OR NOT???

JO: ........ (as if i woke her out of some dream).. oh... ok!!! ( turned to leave)..

ME: (scanning around for moral support from jino... and unfortunately finding only two of my classmates Aswathy and Manju sitting and watching the scene unfold... hey... when did they appear???)......... wait a sec.. hold on... that was a question.. not a statement.. you are supposed to answer that!!!!

JO: .................. oh......................


at this point my brain was in overdrive... calculating all permutations and combinations for the possible replies and the dialogue i was to give her back.. i had practically completed a C program in my head with the sufficient switch statements... ( even i had taken trouble to declare loop variables as a register type to increase the speed of execution...)...


what could it be?? " I also love you a lot...." (probability 75.61%... I'm optimistic).... " I've seen you as my friend/brother ..." (probability 16.22%).... " i already have a boy friend...." (probability 5.43%).... " i need to think...." ( probability 2.1%).... "I want to ask my parents..." (probability 0.63999%) (ya seriously some gals are that dumb!!!)... and the default clause.. ie something else (probability 0.00001%)... hey had answers for everything... so why worry???


JO: ......... well.. (looking straight at me... )... I WANT TO BECOME A NUN!!!!!!!!............

ME:....... [SYSTEM FAILURE]...... [Invalid operation encountered].... ok... (where the heck is the eject lever when you need one????)..


Last few things i remember that day??? Aswathy and Manju laughing their a** off..... a New song having words Jobina, nun and my name being sung on bus.... becoming red all over is a physically possible feat!!!